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If Kevin Cullen didn't exist, would it be necessary to invent him?
By Spatch on Mon, 08/11/2008 - 3:05pm
Now that we've taken the mask off of Clark Rockefeller and revealed one Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter underneath, the Glob's resident chappy Kevin Cullen activates his Smug Powers and writes a column mocking Gerhartsreiter and most of Germany, for that matter. And when Cullen gets going, you better batten down the comedy hatches because no vaguely Teutonic pop culture figure is safe! Even California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't escape Kevin's irreverent jabs and goofy names. I don't know how he does it, but coming up with "Governor Terminator" is a true feat of skill no matter who you are or which newspaper you're working for.
And for those of you keeping score, here is a list of hilarious names which Cullen, taking a page from the Howie Carr School of Columnistin', uses to refer to the faux Rockefeller:
Herr Gerhartsreiter
Herr Whackjob
Herr Loony
Herr Rockefeller
You can tell he's German because Kevin uses "Herr" a lot!
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Comments
He showed great creativity, though
A smaller mind would have simply called Schwarzenegger "the Governator" like everybody else; it must've taken him sheer seconds to think up "Governor Terminator."
Yeah, but...
...what does this have to do with Ireland?
Not all of Germany
Those German journalists, Cullen won't mock them: "they are a brave, fearless lot."
Every time he comes home to his colleagues he brings up how great journalists are elsewhere. I bet they love him for it.
Oh, yeah
British journalists are a lot better, too.
Teh Governator isn't German
Okay, so he's Germanic ... but he didn't come from Germany - he's Austrian by birth (and a citizen of the USA by choice).
You know the answer to this one...
Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.
Presumption
I presume neither of you read the Cullen article, since he clearly states that Arnold is Austrian in his article.
I did, but ...
I thought Cullen was clearly insensitive that there were any differences at all - as if Austria was like Bavaria or Bohemia ... a substate of GERMANY.
Cullen writer ok; Cullen's politics indefensible
Cullen is a good writer. The only thing I don't like about him is his politics. I cannot understand how a compassionate man who would help one Iraqi boy could be so callous toward all of the other innocent victims in that country, victims of our aggressive, preemptive war of choice. Doesn't Cullen understand that policy has real consequences?
The policy in this case, was an unjust policy shaped by a flawed and irresponsible decision process, which destroyed hundreds of thousands of innocent lives.
I would love Cullen to see what we've done to that country. Here are three videos by an Iraqi reporter filmed on the five year anniversary of the war earlier this year;
Baghdad City of Walls
Killing Fields
Iraq's Lost Generation