Brookline could seek death penalty for two-bit turkey toughs

WBZ reports residents now live in fear of the marauding poultry pack, which has tasted blood and shows no signs of ending its relentless attacks on the terrorized townsfolk. Town officials say their hands are currently tied by a state law that classifies the gobbling goons as "protected."



    Free tagging: 


    Door to door yelling lessons?

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    I find it peculiar, though not surprising, that in the era of the iPhone and instantly available information, and in a city of such purported intelligence, that Brookline officials and residents are legitimately at a loss for how to handle this situation other than to trap and euthanize the "terrorist" turkeys. Having lived both in Brookline and in rural areas where ::GASP:: wild turkeys are even more common, I can tell you there is no specific Brookline terorrist turkey sect. Turkeys are not even territorial. Perhaps the meeting that occured with the terrorized residents should have featured a 30 second explanation on the fact that you have to intimidate turkeys not hide from them. Perhaps someone could act out how to yell at something, for those who aren't aware. Or perhaps people could use the internet to find the readily available information provided by the state on how to resolve conflicts with turkeys.

    Not enough coffee

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    yet this morning, but work out your own joke about being turkey free and politicians.

    Think of this as like a choose your own adventure.


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    They've got hollow bones and can't use tools. How hard exactly is it to intimidate one of these things? Sheesh.

    Pretty feathers, though - remarkable colors.

    Three terrible toms

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    Wicked Local has more details on the meeting, at which police vowed action and a state turkey expert ruffled feathers and was basically shouted down.

    More Cowbell

    Seriously. More Cowbell.

    Works on Fells turkeys, so I don't see why it wouldn't work on their upscale Brookline kin.