Fake Massachusetts town names
By adamg - 4/12/12 - 12:37 pm
McSweeney's compiles a list; the last one is just a bit too ridiculous, though.
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McSweeney's compiles a list; the last one is just a bit too ridiculous, though.
Comments
He's missing Burchester.
He's missing Burchester.
All real except for last one
Very little creativity here. He picked some obscure but very real locations, then tacked on what ridiculously crafted make believe town at the end to provide the veneer of reliability.
Everyone's a critic
Let's see you get in McSweeney's, clever boy.
Stick to chowhound, Slim.
Oh MC Slim, if you would take a moment to remove yourself from Brodeur's derriere and actually read HenryAlan's comment you could see it's not actually a critique.
get back to yelp
Slim, aka burn'n!
Funny! :-)
Makes me think of the apocryphal "Latham, MA" which featured in the final episode of "Seinfeld".
Mansocket
That's not in Massachusetts. Try Rhode Island.
They forgot Loocester (under Athol), Waddleborough, and Skidmark.
Gay Head is now officially fictional ... with marriage and kids and all.
I'm sure UHub wags can add some here ...
Edit: Moleicester. LOL! That took me a second ...
What, no Newstead Montegrade?
What, no Newstead Montegrade?
Some more suggestions
May take a moment or two to come up:
Birthplace of Theodor Geisel
Greeneggsandham.
No Arkham or Innsmouth?
No Arkham or Innsmouth?
Those places are real.
I've been to both.
Innsmouth is full of yuppies now
and the Esoteric Order of Dagon hall is a Starbucks.
Better than Dunwich, though, whose local distinctive landmark is the Wal-Mart.
Yuppies?!
Are the shelves teeming with Bret Easton Ellis books? Have the streets turned into a townwide BMW dealership? Are restaurants serving Perrier? Do Men Without Hats and Genesis blare from every window?
I think Massachusetts is the last place in America using "Yuppie" as a cultural identifier.
Or Dunwich.
Oh, the horror.
Been there
It's really Athol. Man, is that place depressing.
Yesss...
Arkham.
A few more
Quillston (Town settled by porcupine pelt traders)
Weringham (Hamlet settled by the Werings, friends of the Framings)
Wickimunk (misheard Indian word by settlers)
Keel (near Hull)
South Cotswody (no North Cotswody ever existed, said like Peabody...no, the other way)
Cleary's Bluff (Western MA...competing legends about Cleary say he was good at gambling and also thrown off a cliff...may both be true)
What about the Town of Ripton?
The fictitious town that would occasionally be slipped into legislative line items in the 1980s and 1990s to make sure the legislators were paying attention. I guess its town charter was revoked with the advent of the internet.
More fictional local town names
Arkham
Aylesbury
Dunwich
And don't forget
Kingsport
I have a friend that lives in
I have a friend that lives in Hangover.
Well...
Weefolk
Miltapan
Miltapan
Wait, thats not a town? Its
Wait, thats not a town? Its at least a CDP isnt it?
A few more
Dana
Enfield
Greenwich
Prescott
Were real; now under the
Were real; now under the Quabbin reservoir.
Looks like Ron newman
got Ron Newman'd!
Touhgton
we have a winna
Well, the last one is true,
Well, the last one is true, it is a fake MA town. The official name of Braintree is "The Town of Braintree" and Braintree is a city now.
Dourcester, pronounced
Dourcester, pronounced "Dooster"
Dourcester, pronounced
Dourcester, pronounced "Dooster"
Like Watertown and others
The legal description of Braintree is "the city known as the Town of Braintree". (See the title of H.3660: http://www.malegislature.gov/Bills/187/House/H03660 )
Watertown is the example I usually use, because "the city known as the Town of Watertown" sounds even sillier due to the double "town".