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Fake Massachusetts town names

McSweeney's compiles a list; the last one is just a bit too ridiculous, though.

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Comments

He's missing Burchester.

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Very little creativity here. He picked some obscure but very real locations, then tacked on what ridiculously crafted make believe town at the end to provide the veneer of reliability.

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Let's see you get in McSweeney's, clever boy.

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Oh MC Slim, if you would take a moment to remove yourself from Brodeur's derriere and actually read HenryAlan's comment you could see it's not actually a critique.

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Slim, aka burn'n!

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Makes me think of the apocryphal "Latham, MA" which featured in the final episode of "Seinfeld".

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That's not in Massachusetts. Try Rhode Island.

They forgot Loocester (under Athol), Waddleborough, and Skidmark.

Gay Head is now officially fictional ... with marriage and kids and all.

I'm sure UHub wags can add some here ...

Edit: Moleicester. LOL! That took me a second ...

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What, no Newstead Montegrade?

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May take a moment or two to come up:

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Greeneggsandham.

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No Arkham or Innsmouth?

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I've been to both.

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and the Esoteric Order of Dagon hall is a Starbucks.

Better than Dunwich, though, whose local distinctive landmark is the Wal-Mart.

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Are the shelves teeming with Bret Easton Ellis books? Have the streets turned into a townwide BMW dealership? Are restaurants serving Perrier? Do Men Without Hats and Genesis blare from every window?

I think Massachusetts is the last place in America using "Yuppie" as a cultural identifier.

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Oh, the horror.

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It's really Athol. Man, is that place depressing.

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Arkham.

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Quillston (Town settled by porcupine pelt traders)
Weringham (Hamlet settled by the Werings, friends of the Framings)
Wickimunk (misheard Indian word by settlers)
Keel (near Hull)
South Cotswody (no North Cotswody ever existed, said like Peabody...no, the other way)
Cleary's Bluff (Western MA...competing legends about Cleary say he was good at gambling and also thrown off a cliff...may both be true)

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The fictitious town that would occasionally be slipped into legislative line items in the 1980s and 1990s to make sure the legislators were paying attention. I guess its town charter was revoked with the advent of the internet.

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Arkham
Aylesbury
Dunwich

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Kingsport

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I have a friend that lives in Hangover.

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Weefolk

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Miltapan

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Wait, thats not a town? Its at least a CDP isnt it?

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Dana
Enfield
Greenwich
Prescott

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Were real; now under the Quabbin reservoir.

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got Ron Newman'd!

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we have a winna

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Well, the last one is true, it is a fake MA town. The official name of Braintree is "The Town of Braintree" and Braintree is a city now.

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Dourcester, pronounced "Dooster"

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Dourcester, pronounced "Dooster"

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The legal description of Braintree is "the city known as the Town of Braintree". (See the title of H.3660: http://www.malegislature.gov/Bills/187/House/H03660 )

Watertown is the example I usually use, because "the city known as the Town of Watertown" sounds even sillier due to the double "town".

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