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Fed up with leering men on Harvard Avenue, woman punches one
By adamg on Tue, 01/24/2012 - 8:13am
Allison Francis explains her need to punch the stranger after enduring leers and "oooohs" and solicitations on a walk between Comm. Ave. and Brighton with her girlfriend:
I'm not exactly a placid person, but I'd never punched someone before and I believe in the merits of peace over violence. Whatever that guy said wasn't the worst thing that's been said to me by any means. I just snapped. After 23 years as a woman and ~2 years being 'out' in Allston, after having been forced to tolerate my relationships and humanity degraded on a regular basis with no option other than to keep walking, I wasn't going to take it. It's not okay how so many men behave as though they have the right to aggressively address strangers on the street because we're women, and it's not okay that we are expected to take it with a smile.
Via the Phlog.
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Comments
"Fighting words", etc.
I wonder if her action was legal. A case could be made for self-defense, if the dude's words were threatening.or if he got unnecessarily close while speaking them. It would certainly have been an interesting case if, after being punched, the guy then fell and hit his head on the curb, etc. Justifiable homicide?
That said, it does sound like a situation where a simple "fuck off" might have sufficed.
Unfortunately, since getting
Unfortunately, since getting an emotional reaction out of you is often the goal, shouting back at them is not generally useful since they still get what they want.
I have occasionally responded with withering sarcasm about the state of their equipment if they feel the need to shout their lame comments on the street. This only works if they are with friends who will rib them for it. And if you feel able to get somewhere safe quickly.
Otherwise, you just keep walking to avoid a potentially dangerous confrontation.
This is criminal assault and battery.
I don't have to elaborate on the title. I can't believe that you'd even post this on your site. This woman hit, HIT, another person and blogged about it. Admitting to her guilt and crime.
Assault
Also includes verbal harassment. I somehow don't think this is the first time he has intimidated and threatened women to get his high hos in a happy bundle.
She could easily make the case that she felt physically threatened, given her LGBT status, the harassment she and her partner received before the incident, etc.
I have had men directly threaten me when I have refused to pay attention to them - then shrink from a fight they would likely lose when called out on it and directly challenged to take the first shot with some lame "I don't hit women or I would ... blah blah blah" that really means "I could lose this and get arrested for starting it".
Yep
I had mixed feelings about responding to violence with violence too, but I don't think she has anything legal to worry about. Considering the frequency of assaults and homicides of LGBT people just because they're LGBT people, I think it's reasonable to say that the person felt legitimately threatened and needed to respond.
Oh and
I love how people are questioning whether violence was appropriate (which is a valid question) while not even making a single mention of how wrong it is to yell homophobic things at strangers. Real classy.
Nobody is mentioning that the
Nobody is mentioning that the sky is blue, either. It's a given that it's wrong to denigrate anyone for their sexual orientation and no one is defending the guy's comments. People are questioning her violent reaction because she wrote an article trying to defend it.
I'm sure if the guy wrote an article trying to defend his homophobia people would question that too.
It's really not a given
Or it wouldn't be so prevalent.
there's 'wrong' and then there's 'WRONG'
It's wrong to yell homophobic things at strangers, but unless there's a credible threat involved, (and no, "lots of people who hate gays wreak violence on gays, therefore any public denouncement of gays carries an implied threat of violence" is not a credible threat,) it's within the realm of protected speech.
Not necessarily
It's not protected speech if it's assault. Then it's a crime.
From Wikipedia:
In law, assault is a crime causing a victim to fear violence.
So, two wrongs make a right?
So, two wrongs make a right?
article
Six paragraphs of trying to justify a violent reaction as standing up for yourself. Isn't being out in Alston already standing up for yourself? Cat-calling is disgusting but violence is equally so. Trying to justify it after the fact is misguided.
C'mon people Martin Luther King Jr. Day was just last week.
Nonviolence didn't work
for MLK. He got shot to death. If someone is demented enough to shout at, touch, threaten, or otherwise harass a stranger on the street, they might not be turned off by turning the other cheek.
You do know that
Malcolm X was assassinated too, right?
Damned if you do,
damned if you don't.
Everyone complains about how this generation in their teens & 20s doesn't DO anything, we just tweet & microblog. Well, lookie here. Someone DID something, and everyone bitches. Shocker.
If you think "nonviolence didn't work"
Then you weren't paying attention in history class.
Nonviolence did work
MLK's non-violence worked extraordinarily well.
He and everyone involved in the civil rights movement, especially the black participants, were acutely aware of the personal risks involved in their protests.
Their goal was to work to change the American apartheid by bringing it to light to the rest of the world. Brilliantly and miraculously they were able make huge gains in these areas.
To glibly suggest that their strategy didn't work because of assassination or other terrorist responses to the movement is simply the wrong conclusion because it misses the whole significance of the movement.
Good for her! I don't support
Good for her!
I don't support violence as a solution to problems 99% of the time, but very occasionally, it's the only way to get the point across.
A useful question to ask in these scenarios
What if it were your daughter, girlfriend, wife, mom or grandmother who was being subjected to that abuse by some random asshole on the street, and you weren't there to take their part?
I don't think violence is the answer here, either, but I can certainly empathize with the impulse.
Read the article
She was agitated from a prior interaction and punk a separate person in the face for saying something she cant remember. BUT YOU SUPORT HER.
Um, read my post
It's right above yours, John-not-verified, like, just one inch above it, depending on the size of your screen.
Struggling to look up? Let me help you: "I don't think violence is the answer here, either, but I can certainly empathize with the impulse."
This is not the same as "BUT YOU SUPORT [sic] HER."
Helpful link for ya. Might want to bookmark that one (not the particular word, the website in general: very handy).
Not in the face
I just read the woman's follow-up post and it turns out she punched the guy in the chest, not the face. Does that change anyone's opinion?
Consequences . . .
What happens next time this guy sees a lesbian couple walking down the street? What if it's not Harvard Ave, but one of the quieter side streets off Comm Ave or Brighton Ave? Will he remember the punch and seek to take it out on another couple, and respond to violence with violence? An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.
What about next time some guy says something to her and her girlfriend? Does she punch him too? Does she punch everyone she sees from now on who leers, snarls, or catcalls? Where do you draw the line?
To be the better person, you actually have to be the better person, and sinking to or below their level doesn't cut it. Combating hate and anger with anger and violence does no one any good at all. Sure, non-violence got MLK killed (and violence got Malcolm X killed), but Ghandi used it to liberate an entire country.
Um
Ghandi was killed.
AFTER India gained independence
India gained independence in 1947. Ghandi was assassinated in 1948. So Ghandi successfully used nonviolence to help liberate India. All besides the point, really, since neither Ghandi nor India (nor MLK nor Malcolm X) was on Harvard Ave the other night.
Coming out publicly against
Coming out publicly against Elijah Muhammad and accusing him of fathering children by women on his staff got Malcolm X killed. "Violence" had nothing to do with it.
Being a man
had I done this and posted about it I feel certain the cops would be knocking on my door.
EQUALITY FOR ALL!
Only if the "victim" came forward
Which he won't, because he's a coward to begin with.
Why don't straight men
harass other straight men on the street? Because they know they could get hurt if they do. Why do straight men harass women and gay men on the street? Because they think they can get away with it, and they're right. Decades of talking, all the social science that's been done, and it hasn't changed. What's the solution? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like everyone is saying that women just have to live with a state of affairs few straight men would tolerate for long before resorting to self-help measures.
they do, actually.
See below.
Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like everyone is saying that women just have to live with a state of affairs
Stop constructing straw-man arguments. Virtually no man in today's society, except for the very small segment who engage in this bullshit, feel it's okay, or that women should have to live for it.
There are plenty of people who think it's not okay to punch someone out over such a comment. That's not the same as "live with it." Call the cops. There's plenty of legislation on the books for gender and sexual identity hate crimes. Many of us helped you fight to get it on the books. NOW USE IT.
What planet do you live on?
You think it's going to help anything if I call the cops every day and list the homophobic things I've heard?
"Well, one was some random stranger whose probably gone now. The other was a newscaster whose name I do know. One was my health insurance company. Oh, one was the president. Is there anything you can do?"
The cops aren't going to do shit about homophobia, unless it involves a current and serious threat, like someone who's actually on your porch threatening you right now. What needs to be done is raising awareness and speaking out every time it happens. As is being done here. A lot of people DO think homophobia is OK, including on this site and on this post. We all need to keep telling them it isn't.
I live on the planet where they do.
Blah blah blah Eeka The Know It All Blathering
Unlike you, I actually have personal experience on this issue. Sitting at home, I have 2 sheets of paper that are proof they do care, quite a bit. And yeah, it has to be something happening right then and there - you can't call them at the end of the day for a Dear Diary session.
More than once I've tried to report being harassed as a cyclist (in incidents where someone didn't use hate speech, but did try to use their vehicle as a weapon) and in one case a detail cop said "welcome to Boston."
Then I reported an incident where someone did the same and then called me a faggot, and...bam, minutes after calling 911 a cop was taking a report and radioing a description of the vehicle.
So, instead of "knowing" the cops won't do anything - try it some time, because otherwise, those laws we helped get on the books are doing JACK SHIT.
Oh look...
Another man making belittling remarks to a woman. Poorly played, sir.
What do their genders have to do with it?
I don't see where Brett said anything having to do with the fact that eeka is a woman - either explicitly or implicitly. (In fact, his first remark, although it was undeniably rude, was about as far from being objectifying as one can get).
Are you saying that it's not valid for Brett to comment on her post just because of his sex? Wouldn't that be just a different flavor of gender-based bigotry?
His point is a good one - there are laws on the books against this sort of behaviour now - they took years of hard work and lots of blood, sweat and tears. By reporting rather than physically confronting the perpetrators of hateful speech, one puts oneself at far less risk, and arguably has a greater chance of detering future acts of this sort. Take the jerk's picture with a phone, use phone to call cops.
But admitting to assault in an online venue is a pretty bonehead move, regardless.
Glad to see that you reported
Glad to see that you reported these incidents AND that you got a response. I've never received the same treatment when I've made reports (yes, calling 911, and in one case running to an officer that was VISIBLE when the incident occurred). Every time I'm blown off, and twice told to be "careful how I dress in this neighborhood." Straight males are not expected to take accusations of homosexuality lightly, but straight females are routinely informed that they should "be more aware of the signals they send" when we receive sexual harassment. You're definitely not having the same experience I am.
And yeah, what you said
Maybe when I call places and tell them I've experienced homophobia from their employees, I need to tell them I'm a straight male.
Oh for fuck's sake...
Brett, I have plenty of personal experience with reporting homophobia, thanks. Since I deal with it every day, instead of twice in my life. But thanks for knowing what my experiences are.
if someone calls you a dyke and a faggot...
...you whip out your phone, snap their picture or take some video if possible...and then call Boston Police, and report it for what it is. A hate crime.
"It’s not okay how so many men behave as though they have the right to aggressively address strangers on the street because we’re women, and it’s not okay that we are expected to take it with a smile."
Yeah, hate speech is not an excuse to engage in gender stereotypes. It's actually a very, very VERY small vocal minority, and nobody but them expects you to "take it with a smile." "So many men" are actually horrified at the behavior of those few.
"I hope that sharing it opens some eyes and maybe even changes some hearts."
No, actually, punching people won't. What it will do is inspire more hate speech and physical violence from that person and their friends. That person will feel further justified in his hateful views, *and* possibly escalate it further the next time the opportunity arises.
I bet you're thinking that I couldn't possibly understand what it's like, right? You're not the only one who gets catcalls and homophobic hate speech slung your way and threatened out in public...it happens to straight men, too, particularly when we happen to be wearing cycling clothing.
I've had a bunch of teenagers walk up to me and make homophobic comments at me while I was walking down the sidewalk with my bike, dressed in winter cycling clothing because it was 30 degrees out and I'd been on a 50 mile ride. I've had someone scream "GET OFF THE ROAD YOU FUCKING FAGGOT" and swerve their car at me as they passed. I've had a guy walking in the bike lane scream "FAGGOT!" when I said "Out of the bike lane, please" as I passed (that generated simultaneous angry rants from myself and a bystander gay dude.)
I know EXACTLY what it's like.
Start a website?
As I recall, women in NYC started doing this and posting the pictures of harassers to a gallery of asshats website.
Perhaps Boston needs one too.
It's a thing
Boston Hollaback - the first post (at least, as I type this) will look familiar.
Brett...
Please don't try and say that you know what it's like because you get called slurs that don't apply to you.
Sure, it sucks to be called these things, and I'm sorry this has happened, but it's just not the same as being part of a group who is regularly fired, evicted, killed, told that they can't be around someone's children, etc., because of who we are.
And if you really want to make a call and raise awareness every time you witness something homophobic or heterocentric, then, yes, that would actually be appreciated. It isn't usually the cops you need to call though.
AHAHAAHAHAHAHA
Please don't try and say that you know what it's like because you get called slurs that don't apply to you.
I see, so it's plainly visible from the outside that I'm straight, and thus the slur didn't "mean anything." Funny how the officer that responded to once such incident didn't ask me what my sexual orientation was.
So, it's only a legitimate incident if you're *actually* gay? I'll be sure to tell the gay people in my life that it's not a hate crime unless they're holding hands with their partner, or wearing a rainbow sticker on their forehead.
Has it occurred to you
That maybe the police take incidents against men more seriously than street harassment of women?
Just stop
You have straight privilege and you don't know what it's like to be the recipient of constant homphobia. That's all.
Brett has a point.
I know plenty of straight women who have been called (insert lesbian slur here_____) just because they don't fit the stereotype of a straight female. You can't tell me that it shouldn't hurt them as much because they are straight. It might even be worse in some cases.
back in middle school
...during our extensive diversity curriculum, we went through exercises in empathy. "Walk a mile in another man's shoes"
So, how many miles *do* I have to walk in another person's shoes to empathize with them and be capable of extrapolation?
Let me know how many "faggots" I have to be called before I'm officially allowed to register for my "understands what it's like to be a victim of hate speech" club card. Do I get credits for the times I've been called a breeder?
Straight privilege? If you don't think straight men are the victim of discrimination, you're completely naive. Housing, one of the most basic of human needs, is rife with it.
http://boston.craigslist.org/search/hhh?query=female
(yes, that search is not perfect- but it does make it easier to find all the listings that either hint at, or explicitly say, don't bother applying if you're a straight biological male.)
It really sucks to call a phone number in an apartment listing, not get a reply...and then to satisfy your curiosity, have a female friend call the same number and get a call back a few minutes later, because the landlord is screening out male prospective tenants.
Some of the dumber landlords who have called back to answer applications have disclosed that they rented to a female tenant. The REALLY dumb ones go on to say it's because they prefer them, and surely I understand why.
So, would you like to keep marginalizing my life experiences?
Or will you admit that we all have experiences with discrimination and bigotry, can use them to empathize with others, and agree that there are a lot of discriminatory practices and bigots of all shapes, sizes, genders, nationalities, religions, and sexual orientations with targets as varied as the day is long, and poor aim?
You're not part of a marginalized group
Stop.
Back up a second eeka
Are you saying it's okay for someone to experience these things because they're not part of a recognized minority? And that they're not allowed to complain when it does happen? That's not okay.
We're all allowed our own experiences. And we're allowed to blather on about them here.
We're all human and it sucks to be yelled at by strangers for no reason.
I'm not generally a Brett fan, but I think you're out of line here.
No
If you read the whole thread, I said that it sucks if anyone is called these things.
I also said that a straight person doesn't know what it's like to experience homophobia every day, which they don't. Is that really that hard?
You had me until you claimed
You had me until you claimed to know "exactly what it's like" for women/homosexuals/etc. If you're a straight male you're enjoying privileges you don't even recognize. I truly am sorry that people verbally abuse you and threaten you when you're on your bike and in cycling gear, but that doesn't really compare to the abuse that most women (I am one) and presumably most homosexuals (I am not one) receive on a daily basis. DAILY basis. When we're dressed for work, schlepping to the laundromat, bundled up in a knee length puffy coat (why comment on a body you can't even SEE?!), or basically just existing in the world.
You're right that it's a vocal minority that engages in this type of harassment, and you're right that most people don't tell us to "take it with a smile" but I've never once had an official take my complaints about sexual harassment or "hate crime" seriously. Do you really think an officer would do anything if you brought him a camera phone pic and said, "This guy called me a faggot?" I've tried, and the response was, "Come find me if they do it again."
None of this is to say I would feel justified in punching someone; it's just not how I operate. The only time I've punched someone was when I guy at a nightclub physically lifted me from a crowd and started carrying me towards the exit - while he and his friends laughed like crazy, and no one observing moved in to help…all fun and games, right? - but otherwise physical violence is not how I roll. But I certainly do empathize with a person who reached their breaking point with the constant verbal abuse and don't presume to know exactly what it's like for them.
What Brett Forgets
On a national basis, police officers are predomininately male.
Many were bullies in high school.
Any given male cop is far more likely than any given male to brutalize, threaten, intimidate, and murder his wife or girlfriend.
Not exactly a population that is predisposed to be sympathetic to women being harassed on the street. My friends and myself have even been street harassed by someone who I knew was an off-duty cop AND REPORTED IT. We were told we needed to "lighten up" and "get a sense of humor".
Bullshit
And you have stats on this? Of course you don't. Since you are obviously full of lies, you shouldn't be suprised that no one would take your harrassment story seriously. Even if it did happen, you don't really seem to have a grip on reality, so people aren't going to believe you.
One of many in Teh Google Skoolahr!
Source.
Your move.
Far more likely to abuse?
from a 1992 study of a 115 person sample?
You need to find a better study. I will give you that domestic violence reporting has come a long way in the last 20 years.
Google Scholar is your Friend
This was but one study of several cited - go on, click the link.
You simply want to believe that cops don't hurt their families - despite ample evidence that they are 3-4 times as likely to abuse. Pete Nice not wanting to believe something is true does not nullify actual repeated research results.
Sorry. Just like cops don't get to make up the laws, they don't get to make up reality.
Congratulations!
You've just won my award for the stupidest post I've read in months.
Riddle me this, caped crusader, all of those men who beat their wives after the Super Bowl, how many of them are cops? Out of all the incidents of domestic violence that happens on any given day, you posit that most of the assaults are done by male cops? Really?
In a thread that criticizes blind prejudice, you've made the most prejudiced statement of all.
Spousal abuse is a serious problem in law enforcement.
But not because they abuse on a much higher rate than the average public.
Do you have facts to contribute?
Consistent findings on self admission that cops are 3-4X as likely to abuse their spouses as men in the general population isn't enough for you?
Or are you just looking for a dream date in uniform by sharing his alt reality?
Show me a recent study.
One that has been done since the change in domestic violence laws, and one with current police forces. Up until about the late 1980s, cops were simply a different breed, especially in MA. Drinking on the job, corruption, excessive force, etc was much higher then than it is now.
Law enforcement studies change greatly over time, and this is one of the reasons why I laugh at 20+ year old findings like the ones in your citation. When "throwing things" are labeled as domestic violence (as they are in these studies) you have to take the information for what it is worth.
That being said, you point is right on about the old days and officers not being willing to report domestic violence for a variety of reasons. 2012 Boston is simply different for dozens of reasons.
No, Pete
It is your turn to do some research and bring information to the table.
You are making an assertion and you need to back it up. You cannot ask your debate opponent to prove your point for you. You have to do it yourself.
My only point
was that your point was bullshit. And you gave me 20-40 year old studies to back it up. I'm just not buying it.
context
Stop quoting my words out of context. I said I know exactly what it's like to be harassed, called slurs, and threatened with mortal injury while going about your daily life. YOU and only you have suddenly broadened the discussion to one of ALL gender issues, and thrust my words into that context.
If that's not good enough for you because I have a penis in my pants and prefer women over men for sexual activity and romance....well, you're just as bigoted. And you might be well-served to realize that people discriminate against others for hundreds of reasons, and your particular form of discrimination isn't any better or more important than that faced by another person, and your experience probably has more commonalities than differences.
We all like to think that nobody understands us, that our experience is unique. That's rarely the case. I've been called a "breeder", been chased after by people who threatened to "string me up on a telephone pole" (they thought I was Jewish), and more...because there are many bigots, and they're not very good at identifying their targets, or their targets can't be identified.
I don't use that experience to try and polarize. I use it to try and understand, identify & sympathize with others who are targets of the same behavior.
I'm certainly not trying to
I'm certainly not trying to imply that you're better or worse because of what you carry in your trousers or what gender and sexuality you present to the world. I'm just trying to explain that the way you experience harassment is different BECAUSE of your gender/sexual orientation. Just as I have straight privilege; I have experienced harassment regarding my sexuality, but it doesn't hit me in the same way because I'm not gay. I haven't had to deal with that kind of discrimination my whole life - I typically only have to deal with it when I reject some asshole's advances and his comeback is almost inevitably, "DYKE!" It's impossible to try to understand someone's reaction to gender-based harassment WITHOUT examining all gender issues…that's like trying to understand why a former soldier might duck-and-cover at the sound of a firecracker without taking into account his previous experience. We're all colored by our previous experiences. Even if the same dude made the exact same comment to me, I wouldn't presume to understand exactly what it's like for someone else. I only know what it's like for me.
Oh, great plan....
"...you whip out your phone, snap their picture or take some video if possible...and then call Boston Police, and report it for what it is. A hate crime."
...if you want to escalate the situation. So now the jackass who is calling me names and is probably bigger and stronger than me (I'm smallish) knows I have photographic evidence of...what? That he and I were in the same place at the same time?
At best, he'll realize it's an empty threat. At worst, he either won't realize that and will do whatever he can to get rid of the photo or he'll decide he wants a nice phone with a camera, and then I've taken the situation from uncomfortable to physically dangerous to me.
And the simple fact that you, Brett, don't immediately realize this tells me that no, you have no freakin' idea what it's like. Not even one. Those guys didn't yell "faggot" at you because they actually thought you were gay; they yelled it because you pissed them off, and it's a term at which many straight males take offense. If they'd called you a "retard", would you assume that they thought that you actually had a developmental disability? Or if they'd shouted "asshole", that you were a literal sphincter?
Hate crime? Really?
Have we so flushed freedom of speech that calling someone a dyke or a faggot (absent an actual, credible threat) is a criminal offense? Surely it's wrong ethically and morally, not to mention mean, but a crime? Really?
Is that you...
Tim Thomas the Free Citizen?
Foolish, foolish
I can completely empathize with the frustration at the constant cat calling and harassment , but blindly punching someone in the face might get you shot nowadays.
And then the need to blog about it isn't some declaration of your part in the struggle, it's pointless narcissism. Good, you committed an injustice in protest of another injustice, now you really want to go to jail where some of the other female inmates might not view you as Ms. Stonewall 2012?
Perfect! Such narcissism,
Perfect! Such narcissism, then to blog about it, tweet it, retweet it, have it posted on reddit, then Jezebel, then universal hub then write a response. ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME.
This comment makes my point.
Why is it that the woman who responds to the harasser is the one at risk, and not the other way around?
Take the woman out of it
and my general point is if you want to go around punching assholes of any gender and you take a real risk of further injury to yourself. Also, suppose a cop had witnessed the punch? Do you think they would have cared about the verbal harassment that they didn't hear? No, they would have seen one person assaulting another and that's all they would have needed for the bracelets to come out.
Patently unfair, but it's life on the street.
Maybe
Maybe it's because I'm a woman, and lived for several years within a couple of blocks of where this incident occurred, but in reading her blog a got the sense of a woman who is fed up with an unacceptable situation and yet is still ambivalent about her reaction to it. It is mentally and physically wearying to deal with that sort of crap all the time in your own back yard.
Was it the right thing to do? No. And she doesn't claim that it was. Can I understand why she did it? Sure can. Her reason for the blog was to bring awareness to what she has to put up with, and a call for more civilized behavior on the part of her neighbors, not a justification for finally loosing it one day and hauling off on some guy who clearly should have been slapped, repeatedly, by his mother while growing up.
And I find it depressing that nothing has changed in Allston in the past 25 years...
Read the blog, people
The blogger states that she didn't even know what the last man said before she hauled off and hit him. That's assault and battery: She wasn't threatened, she hit him to make a point. For all she knew, he might have been saying, "Hey, Lesbians, that's great, my sister's a lesbian."
I think she would do well by taking an anger management course. She might have a bit too much testosterone coursing through her veins.
A neighbor said I was such a girl - in front of his wife
A condo neighbor once called me a girl (I am a gay man) as the climax of an argument when the neighbor was caught in the middle of a lie concerning the condo finances. The homophobia of this insult struck me with less force than the fact that he effectively demeaned his wife and mother-in-law. He hurled his wit against me in front of the two women who I would think are important in his life - effectively comparing the scumbag he wanted to make of me to their gender.
When I was a kid there were plenty of times when I wish I could have physically harmed the people who called me faggot, queer or said I should die. In my teens my best friend (who, was Black) and I were walking through the very white neighborhood where I grew up. We encountered some former friends of mine while walking to my home. These former friends starting yelling racial epithets at both of us and threw sticks and rocks at us. Should my friend and I have turned around and attacked them? For several reasons I think the answer is no then and no today.
I sympathize with being disgusted with the cat calling. It pisses me off still to hear or read the homophobic hatred that is spewed by so-called Christians and politicians who suck up to them.
Part of me also believes that some folks will never be redeemed from their hatred. But should I turn violent? I can't. Sometimes I want to but I know that I will carry the guilt of harming another person - in spite of their disgusting and reprehensible behavior.
What makes this whole thing even stupider
"At the next block, another dude said something. I don’t even remember what it was. I don’t think it makes a difference"
So you punched someone over what you thought they might have said?
"Whatever that guy said wasn’t the worst thing that’s been said to me by any means. I just snapped."
The most honest thing in the whole post. Reminds me of that scene in "30 Rock" where Tracy showed up late for his kid's birth and said "I wouldn't have missed whatever just happened here for the world"
I work in a school. This
I work in a school. This morning, I told an indignant and self-righteous 2nd grader that he is not justified in slugging another 2nd grader on the bus just because he was called a B--ch. He is now suspended off the bus for the rest of the week.
Quess this woman never learned the axiom, "Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me" in elementary school.
Somebody
Hasn't had their anti-bullying training yet - you.
You didn't quote the best part:
Is anyone seriously going to defend someone who admits this?
Followup from Allison Francis
"The Punch Heard Round The World".
In her own words
"I was wearing plush heavy bike gloves, punched him in the chest and stand 5’3″ tall. I’m certain the strike was scores more shocking than painful."
Probably most readers assumed that she had punched the guy in the face. Bare-knuckled. Turns out she whacked him in the chest -- and she was wearing gloves, which means it was probably cold enough that he was also wearing a coat or jacket. Does the fact that there was little chance she actually hurt the guy change the meaning of the event and our judgment of her actions?
The contact is what makes it
The contact is what makes it battery. Not how much it hurts.
FTR--i totally empathize with the impulse, but hitting someone is not ok unless it's in self defense, which neither of her posts has claimed.
The contact is what makes it
The contact is what makes it battery. Not how much it hurts.
FTR--i totally empathize with the impulse, but hitting someone is not ok unless it's in self defense, which neither of her posts has claimed.
Ah, the irony
Except that guy I punched and all of the other guys out there just like him. Those aren't persons like you, they're less than people. Take out your pent up frustrations at society on them whenever you need to.
which part is confusing you?
The guy who verbally harassed her is a person too... a person who acted like an ass. Did she verbally harass him? No. He harassed her and then she responded. Where's the irony?
It's quoted for you
Her argument is that she is belittled for being who she is amongst the "rape culture" she lives in. She demands others consider her a person too and not some kind of object that is allowed to be demeaned. She wants others in her situation to know the same fact that they are also people and should demand to be treated as such.
She then punches a guy whom she can't even quote for what he said because she projected all of her anger of "rape culture" and jerkoffs onto him and impulsively swung a fist at him in retaliation. She treated him as an object on which she could take out all of her frustration with how she views him being another instance of "rape culture" and what's wrong with Allston around her.
By the way, how do you know he harassed her? You haven't got a clue what he said. You only have her judgement that whatever it was he said (that she can't even remember now) was the same or worse than all those other things people said at her all her life in Allston. What makes her judgement unquestionable?
First of all, what the hell
First of all, what the hell do you mean by 'rape culture'? Secondly, why are you even responding to this thread if you doubt that she was harassed in the first place?
First of all...
It's her term not mine. Secondly, why are you even responding to me if you didn't read her post in the first place to know why I'd use the term "rape culture"?
Want some ice
... for your nose?
(too funny that the CAPTCHA is "3in. flagpole")
Glad I never go to Allston
Between the low-life cat-callers and the thin-skinned violent pedestrians who apparently need everyone to know their orientation, I am sure glad that I have no reason to ever visit Allston.
75 Comments
on this, but NOTHING on "Woman attacked while jogging in Newton" posting. Hmm.
Perhaps because there's nothing controversial in that story?
Just sad and unnerving.
Not that hard to understand...
Why aren't YOU over there commenting?
Well, there you have it..
With the publishing of her little screed on Jezebel, our little Allison, with one punch, has now made herself into a queer counter culture heroine.
What's next? A monthly column in AfterEllen? An appearance on Charlie Rose? Even more ridiculous is this follow up column, filled with vitriol and anger about the way women are treated, yet her entire argument is lost when she freely admits that she stands by her foolish act, as if her little punch in the chest has now attained the same importance in gay history as Stonewall.
She did a childish thing and now she is reveling in the brief attention her childish act is bringing her. Well, enjoy it kid, because it's not going to last long.
In my opinion, a lot of these
In my opinion, a lot of these comments are pure foolishness. If some aggressive guy talks trash to a woman, he deserves a smack and hats off to Allison for doing so. Middle-aged, hetero male, if anyone is keeping score.
WHY I NEVER!!!
I am absolutely flabbergasted--I nearly caught the vapors!
As a QUEER-FRIENDLY SEX-POSITIVE CIS-STRAIGHT PENIS-EMPOWERED person who is LETTUCE GAY BACON TOMATO-loving, and a resident of Allston-Brighton, I am absolutely appalled with what happened to this poor victim of a WOMAN-CHILD!
I commend her assertiveness and cat-like reflexes in her duty of repelling the repugnant MISOGYNIST rube in the atrocious midst of his relentless assault on her IDENTITY as a PROUD 23 year old (2 years out) bearer of THE LEAST PHALLIC of torches.
I hope that this post makes it through, as my parents have allowed me to spend two liberating months picking berries and living off-grid on the island in Europe where the poet Sophos first EMPOWERED and symbolically DEFLOWERED the vagina in us all.
The next HATE-FILLED MISANDRYST RAPE CULTURIST with a 5-o'clock shadow who grabs my ass at Jacques is going to get stabbed for his brutish transgression. We must not only retaliate, we must excalate! Boy-Grrrrrl POWER!!! AMIRITE FOLKS?!
In conclusion, and in summary: fight the power and read my shitty blog!
+1
That was amazing.
Outstanding!
Kudos and I hope our little pugilist is reading!
"LETTUCE GAY BACON
"LETTUCE GAY BACON TOMATO-loving" Not gonna lie, that made me choke on my coffee. Hahahaha!!