West Roxbury Patch reports the evidence includes both a sample of his precious bodily fluids and a roughly two-inch long "penis imprint."
Dr Stangelove reference FTW! I kinda feel bad for the cop that had to go take that report, and worse, actually write the report that included such a phrase. And this is pretty disgusting, and for lack a stronger adjective, fucking weird.
That's just sad, a 2" penis. I though, maybe he's compensating for something.
But then a "pool of semen?" It makes me think maybe this guy has ginourmous balls that produce an abundance of semen, sufficient to make a sustainable pool.
This is funny, because at my last job, we spent months working to kick out a repeat pervert who had visibly grapefruit-sized testicles. We finally kicked him out when he got caught masturbating in front of a female employee.
Hedwig is not currently a suspect, police confirm.
I like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Zu0vAMkpag