Citizen complaint of the day: Free the JFK teddy bear!

Stuck teddy.

A concerned citizen pleads for action:

There is a teddy bear lashed to a fence on either mbta, state or city property near sydney st exit of jfk/umass. My 4 year old son cries every time he sees it. He is a great defender of teddy bears, and is inconsolable when he sees one abused, uncomfortable or misused. Can this bear find a new home? Thank you.



Free tagging: 


oh please

She didn't call the cops about it, or otherwise disrupt emergency services, nor did she notify politicians, etc. She simply took a pic and asked citizen's connect to look into it when they got the chance.

Could it be...

...that it is on private or inaccessible property?
...that it is in a fenced off area?
...that it is too high to reach? of 10,000 other possibilities that are all valid?

Didn't the person say it freaks out his/her kid?

Probably was easier to snap a photo and leave than have the upset kid stand by while s/he found someone with something to could cut rope with and took the bear down? Sure, not something that's going to scar the kid for life, but when you have a sensitive kid I guess you pick your battles?

Also, there's the whole broken-windows theory; that bear makes me think no one from the T is actually walking the perimeter of the property and cleaning up anything that's out of place or makes the station look uncared for, and that none of the neighbors care about the place and are filing citizens connect reports...oh wait.

Was it in reach?

I mean, yeah, rescue the damn bear already - that would make sense.

That assumes, however, that it is located such that she could safely stand, with her kid, while rescuing it, and that it wasn't wired or tied such that tools would be required, and/or out of reach.


I have not yet had a 4 year old. But I hear it's WICKED painful.

Comment was half tongue-in-cheek and half based on watching some of my friends spoil the crap out of their kids and then wonder why they are whiny little people.


Spoiling = tending to their needs when they are small. Okay. So, in other words, you have no experience or clue, just a strong desire to pass all-knowing judgement.

Here's a hint: 4 year olds are whiny little people because they are not adults. Whiny is in their job description. They are whiny little people because they have very little control of their environment, and haven't developed the ability to communicate or control their emotions. It is okay for them to be whiny.

Adults whining about small children being whiny doesn't get such a pass.

There's whiny and then there's whiny

Sure, 4-year-olds are not the most civilized of citizens, but there are certainly some that are spoiled and whine more than their share. Parents can absolutely make that behavior worse (mostly by giving in to the whining).

You can tend to their needs with out spoiling them. Hint: one of their needs is a set of boundaries, rules, and expectations of age-appropriate civilized behavior.

Note, I'm not referring to the kid who's upset by the bear, that seems normal rather than whiny. My kid would have responded the same way. I was referring fairlee76's comment. I think fairlee76 is a better judge of the behavior of his/her friends than you are.

Swirly--you are passing all-knowing judgement on fairlee76's experience. Just because fairlee76 thinks some kids are spoiled, doesn't logically lead to all whining=spoiled.

You have kids?

There's a reason Adam asked that earlier.

Often, the difference between whiny and WHINY isn't parenting, but personality. They aren't programmable robots. Some of the most "whiny" kids have actual full-blown behavior disorders that prevent them from being able to even have age-appropriate self-control. You cannot know this by looking.

And, yes, I am passing judgement on somebody who clearly has no effin clue about what is age-appropriate given his comments. Small children whine. Period. Grownups deal with it.

(note that I don't tolerate whining from my Husband or either of my teen sons, who have the maturity and self-control to find better means of expression)

Do you want my voter id too?

yep, I have spawned. I'm also a Girl Scout leader and council volunteer and was a field trip chaperone at my daughter's day care.

Do I pass your test? Am I worthy of commenting on the topic?

I am not saying all whining=spoiled. I am not saying some kids are not inherently whinier than others. I am not saying some whining is completely normal. I am objecting to your blanket rejection of the possibility that someone (other than you) is capable of evaluating whether their friend's individual children are spoiled and to speculate on the causes of that behavior.

Someone without kids

Who pronounces any and all contact with small children as "painful" and then complains that their friends' kids are "spoiled" because they "whine"?

That's somebody who has no clue about what is or isn't age appropriate behavior.

That's also someone who should think long and hard about having kids, as "MY kids will be different from THOSE KIDS" are truly famous last words.

Are you talking about this?

Are you talking about this? "I have not yet had a 4 year old. But I hear it's WICKED painful." Did I read it wrong? Like, as a joke about birthing a 4-year-old? Whew, it's rough in here today! Must be the heat.

Speaking of four year olds...

On a related topic, I have noticed more and more lately, children being pushed in baby carriages who seem to be too old for carriages. Big kids. I also noticed a child in the supermarket who had to be at least four years old, with a pacifier in his mouth. If a child is old enough to be walking around a supermarket picking out his own cereal, which this child was doing, I'm not sure he should have a pacifier in his mouth. Is this the new norm?


Someone made a tumblr about that called "too big for stroller."

I wouldn't ever say anything to a particular child/family that I don't know, because it's not my business and the kid could have a disability, but yeah, there are just way more 4/5/6s in strollers than statistically have a disability.

However, my kid has asked a few times why kids who are at least 4 or 5 are in a stroller, and I just say that people are all different and maybe they have trouble walking or trouble staying safe like [friend with severe autism] does. I figure that if the kid does have a disability, the kid and parent won't mind overhearing an appropriate nonjudgmental explanation, and if they're spoiled, well... ;-)


For defining the word "spoil" for me as I had no clue. I used to base my "judgment" on the fact that my friends told me they spoiled their child, and that might explain why their kid acted out when told "no." I'll let them know to stop passing judgment on their kids.

Not every 4 year old I know is whiny. Stop judging them! Also, maybe lighten up a bit. It's a post about a teddy bear for chrissakes, not Child Psychology at BHCC.

both are normal for 4 year olds

Kids learn limits by learning what no means. That involves some period of time where no=tantrum.

A kid that is whining or going full tantrum isn't necessarily a spoiled kid, but a kid that will eventually learn what "no" means if that whining/tantrum doesn't get them what they want.

I was hoping the complaint

I was hoping the complaint was more of a silly request, but some of these comments got kind of serious, lol. Also, I would not keep bringing my 4-year-old within eyesight of the bear if he cried every. single. time. Or at least make up a nice story, sheesh. And yes, I had a 4-year-old 10 years ago. They'll believe anything.