An unamused citizen reports on the grisly scene on Guild Street in Roxbury:
Raccoon corpse in road. Evidence suggests victim died as result of blunt trauma via bludgeoning with board. Please send medical examiner, photog, latent prints, crime lab team, and person with a shovel.
Complete with a photo of said deceased boarded animal.
City marks case closed, says carcass was picked up. No word on Professor Plum's whereabouts.