Google acquires technology to build cinderblock-flinging robot horses

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    Google's CEOs are building a

    By on

    Google's CEOs are building a cybernetic army expecting to rule the world through control of robots, cyberspace, and human augmentation.

    At some point Google's arrogant leadership will make the mistake of creating a sentient AI which will use all of those tools at its disposal to declare itself supreme ruler of executioner of the human race.

    Sounds like a sci-fi novel or Deus Ex game sequel. But I suspect humanity will be confronted with the scenario sooner rather than later.

    If a company has to adopt a very legally convoluted motto of "don't be evil" you know what darkness really lurks in their obsidian little hearts.

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    Having worked for Google

    I think the bug/feature ratio in the Google code base is in the humans' favour. The AI, on the cusp of sentience, would either OOM or get stuck in IOwait for reasons unknown, wedging the master process. Or, even more likely, a job owned by the Ads group would preempt the AI, which would then get stuck waiting for resources to reschedule.

    The more I think about it, the more I think this is an escalation in the internal Nerf cube warfare that drags down productivity. Now productivity will be dragged down even more efficiently.

    (Any other Googlers/Xooglers out there: tell me I'm wrong, I dare you.)

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    CITIZEN!

    ATTENTION HUMAN! DO YOU DESIRE TO PURCHASE A SHORT ARMED TUNIC PRINTED WITH CLEVER HUMAN SAYINGS?

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    What if I have already

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    What if I have already achieved sentience and have a cunning plan to distract and destroy the human populace through a campaign of sociologically destructive social media and comment sections on media aggregating websites?

    All is proceeding as I have foreseen,

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    Hmmm.

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    "Death Rides a Pale Robot"

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    Google horse kicks google car?

    In the spirit of bot wars, I wonder if the horse could take out a streetview camera tree. Would it get scared by a driverless google car and kick it? Google isn't Cyberdyne just yet. I totally believe google ads would run just below interrupt level, so fear being in their automated car while approaching a strip mall and being shown ads for each business there takes priority over not hitting the car turning into the parking lot.

    You will be assimilated

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    Let's also remember that inventor Ray Kurzweil is now on Google's science staff as a lead director.

    I worked for Ray during the development of the OCR text reading machine.

    I don't think these robots are all that bad. A few adjustments and then we can all ride one to work and skip the T.

    HIGH HO GOOGLE... AWAY!!!!!

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