State solicits suggestions for those electronic highway signs

Those blinkah messages were so wicked successful state officials have decided to hold a contest for new messages on the signs.

The idea is to promote driving safety, of course, but, still, Tom Bruno should get an honorable mention, at the very least, for his proposal:

DUNKIN DONUTS NEXT 300 EXITS

#dotspeak is the place to see suggestions, but what about #dotratspeak?

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Comments

They truly are out of ideas

I've seen a bunch on 93/95 that simply read: " * "

also i guess theyre tired of warning people that the commonwealth might throw them in jail for setting off fireworks (a common message this close to our Independence Day, a day where we celebrate our freedom and American spirit)

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Birthplace and deathbed of

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Birthplace and deathbed of liberty. In the name of safety and progressivism under our new bureaucratic aristocracy! Huzzah!

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yes but on the plus side,

yes but on the plus side, traffic moves slow enough that its always easy to read whatever they have written on the signs

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"Storrow Drive: ...

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... Where trucks go to die."

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How about they go back to

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How about they go back to only using them to display pertinent, important information, which is the reason they exist to begin with?

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We'll need bigger signs

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*blink*
CONSTRUCTION AHEAD
LEFT LANE CLOSED 1 MI.
*blink*
MERGE AHEAD
*blink*
DO IT NOW
*blink*
DON'T BE THE JACKASS
WHO ZOOMS ON UP
*blink*
THINKING "THEY'LL LET
ME IN, THEY SURELY
*blink*
KNOW MY TIME IS
MORE IMPORTANT"
*blink*
YOUR FATHER USED TO DO THAT
LOOK WHERE IT GOT HIM
*blink*
SO UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE
ASSISTANT MANAGER AT THE 99
*blink*
FOR TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS
THEN YOU'LL MERGE THE HELL NOW
*blink*
CONSTRUCTION AHEAD
LEFT LANE CLOSED 1/2 MI.

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Merging early may seem curteous, but it's wrong.

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If traffic is moving freely, then yes, you should merge as soon as is safe to do so.

If traffic is backed up, however, merging early contributes to delays. You should stay in your lane until the cones tell you to start merging, and then take turns (aka "the zipper"). This way, the merging is predictable and safer, as well as fairer because nobody gets to cut. Most importantly, by using all available space on the highway, the total length of the backup, and therefore time to get through the backup, is shortened.

This has been studied. For instance, Minnesota DOT: http://www.dot.state.mn.us/zippermerge/

Actually, seems to me that Mass drivers tend to be naturally better at this than many places.

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As a civil engineer,

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As a civil engineer,

THANK YOU!

No one ever seems to understand this concept.

There are instances where you shouldn't do this (e.g. when an exit is backed up and people fly around in the middle or left lane, then try to cut over right at the gore), but when 2 lanes are merging to one, it is far more efficient to use both lanes and do a zipper merge.

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Hey guys

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I agree that the zipper merge is the proper way to do things, and I really love it when people co-operate and pull it off. But the chowdaheads who insist on beating the line by waiting until the last minute to butt in, especially on a two-lane drop, need to be proper scolded.

Maybe it should start

PREPAH
TO MERGE
NICELY

Y'KNOW
LIKE A
ZIPPAH

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Ideas I've posted so fah

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DRIVE
SAFE &
SAY HI

TO YAH
MOTHAH
FOR ME

----

HANG UP
YAH

SMAHT
PHONE
& DRIVE

----

IF YOU
CANT BE
CALM KID

PUT
IT IN
PAHK

----

BE
WICKED
SMAHT

WEAR
YAH
SEATBELT

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Yeah

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I'm very fond of the suggestion DON'T DRIVE / LIKE MY / BROTHER

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....

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DONT BE A RETAHD.

BE SAFE, KEHD.

SEAT BELTS SUCK BUT THEY SAVE LIVES BRUTHA.

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Highway signs

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Move ovah for police activity...?

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!!!MILITANT TURKEY REVOLUTION

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!!!MILITANT TURKEY REVOLUTION IMMINENT!!! PREPARE TO SURRENDER OR SEEK EVACUATION ROUTES!!!

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How about:

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How about:

STORROW DR CLOSED
9 PM - 5 AM
SUN-THUR

Of course, that would ruin the surprise 45-minute traffic jam at midnight when they force all westbound traffic off at the Mass Ave exit, with no police helping at the stop sign at the end of the ramp.

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They should stop adding to

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They should stop adding to the distractions on the road and only use them when we need to know something important.

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how about:

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how about:

"bicycles allowed full use of lane"

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BIG MISTAKE

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BIG MISTAKE

MANY MAKE

RELY ON HORN

INSTEAD OF BRAKE

Burma Shave!

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Define "success"

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Are you confusing "popular" with "successful"? Because I don't see any more people using theya blinkah than before.

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