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Vigilante to Brookline turkeys: It is on, birds, it is so on

Wicked Local Brookline prints a missive from a Brookline resident who demands his or her town be made safe from its menacing thug turkeys:

WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO WAIT FOR A PERSON TO BE INJURED OR KILLED BEFORE TAKING ACTION TO REMOVE THE TURKEYS FROM OUR MIDST.

Also, reporters need to stop treating this whole thing like a big joke.

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The Few....the brave....the anonymous.

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November 21, 2014

To my feathered brothers and sisters in Brookline:

The time to take action is now.

For too long have we waited for someone to deal, once and for all, with the problem of invasive humans occupying our native lands. For years, our populace has been threatened with bodily harm by the menace of these colonial oppressors among us.

We are told that the rafters cannot simply round up the humans and send them away, as this would be in violation of 'state statutes' against 'evicting' humans from 'their private property'. The obvious thing to do would be to ignore the humans biased law imposed on our ancestral homeland, but no one seems inclined to move forward in this direction.

Supposedly, the town would legally incarcerate a human if the human actually harms a turkey without "a seasonal hunting permit" (how offensive it is to issue licenses to murder!). As far as we should be concerned, this is too late.

WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO WAIT FOR A TURKEY TO BE INJURED OR KILLED BEFORE TAKING ACTION TO REMOVE THE INVASIVE HUMANS FROM OUR MIDST.

Brookline has become a laughingstock in the media, as more and more reporters do stories on our human problem and make it out as if it was some sort of funny joke. As many of us know, it is not a funny joke when you find yourself or your chicks being chased by humans.

I call upon every resident who has ever felt fear from the humans to step forward with your stories. Contact your alpha tom and demand that your rafter finally take action, and render Brookline safe once again from the filthy humans that threaten our daily existence.

Signed,

The Turkey Liberation Front

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The United Front of Turkeys?

/I love this thread!

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I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and giblets. You ask what is our aim? I can answer in two words: Turkey Victory. Turkey Victory at all costs. Turkey Victory in spite of all terror. Turkey Victory however long and hard the road may be. For without victory there is no survival. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the Turkey Empire and the Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.' Never in the field of Turkey conflict has so much owed by so many to so few fowl.

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I promote a Turkey Parade in Brookline. Please wear your best turkey costume and strut the Brookline streets next week. All welcome!

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Can we chase people while we're at it?

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Why does it seem that ONLY Brookline has a problem here?

It isn't like other communities haven't had turkeys galore.

Is it that we don't also persecute the coyotes that keep them on their talons? Is it that our humans know better and leave the turkeys alone?

Coexist bumper stickers aren't the limit of your responsibility, people.

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twenty pounder tom in my area a few weeks ago. Yummy.

Thanksgiving is coming.

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