If only Mike Ross had raised this issue during the mayoral race

Sad Mike Ross is sad about seagulls

Mike Ross tapped out a column today that's ostensibly about the problems with the American patent system but which is really about his hatred for seagulls.

Some see the world for all its glory; I see a bunch of problems in need of tinkering. My latest annoyance is seagulls. A peaceful day on the beach can suddenly turn Hitchcock when errant sunbathers leave unattended bags of chips on their blankets. I swear I once saw a seagull unzip a handbag on Good Harbor Beach in Gloucester.

Image via the Sad Mike Ross Meme Generator, which hopefully somebody has patented.



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    I take it that neither of you

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    have ever suffered what I like to call a "Tweety attack" on your car. Seagull waste is nasty stuff (and very hard to clean off too).

    Agents of Karma

    I saw a woman stop at the middle of the Summer St. bridge over the channel, and start taking things out of her hand bag (trash, wrappers) and throwing it in the water!

    I had no idea why she was doing this noxious thing, but the Seagulls arrived most quickly to investigate - and shit all over her nice black coat and hat.

    Did anybody else....

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    Read this with Mike Ross' voice narrating in your mind.

    If thinking up great ideas

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    If thinking up great ideas were all one needed to do, we’d all be rich like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg.

    I think you're giving us all way too much credit, Mike...

    "Some see the world for all

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    "Some see the world for all its glory; I see a bunch of problems in need of tinkering."

    Kind of a pessimists version of Robert Kennedy's:

    "There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"