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Quiet suburban town wakes to winged menace
By adamg on Fri, 02/06/2015 - 9:02am
Arlington Police acknowledged yesterday the town is besieged by turkeys, who have taken to strutting about the place as if they own it:
As if the snow hasn’t put enough of a wrench in the morning and afternoon commute it seems we have a flock of turkeys gathering on some of our busier streets. Now don’t tell them I said this but they are not the smartest birds. This is part of the reason it can be challenging to navigate around them and they don’t seem to understand that your car is way bigger and they should get out of the road.
Police advise residents to buck up and confront the poultry menace head on, because, while stupid, the birds can sense fear:
Don’t let turkeys intimidate you. Don’t hesitate to scare or threaten a bold or aggressive turkey with loud noises, swatting with a broom or spraying with a hose etc. They will become bolder if we stop and look at them or approach them in a non-threatening manner or even worse take pictures! They are very attracted to light and shiny objects. There have been instances in other communities of turkeys flying at people that were taking pictures because of the flash.
Oh, and for God's sake, police add: Don't feed them.
Neighborhoods:
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Comments
They took the high ground
There is a reason it is called Turkey Hill - they own it!
Actually...
...as a transplanted Pennsylvanian, I can say the town where the Turkey Hill Experience resides, the little hamlet of Columbia PA, is ruled mostly by the unemployed and nostalgic.
http://www.turkeyhillexperience.com/
Come to my Seminar!
This weekend we will having a special education seminar in how to:
Trap
Pluck
Field Dress (that means gut, cut off the head etc)
Prepare
and Cook
a wild turkey.
This seminar is free and will take place in my igloo located in the very center of the Boston Common . The Pink Palace will cater.
PS. We will also discuss the urgent need to bring back Happy Hour!
#HappyHourBos
http://cappyinboston.blogspot.com/
Have a local Turkey Purge
One night every year local residents should take up arms, then donate the carcasses to local shelters and families in need.
That's an interesting idea, but....
I think those particular turkeys are way too tough to be edible.
Personally , I feel that
MarKKK has trained these turkey to be his minions in the battle of pedestrians vs cars.
Mass Ave
Needs an extra express lane for carpooling with poultry!!
Whaddaya mean?
Turkeys are exactly the jaywalking, dark clothed pedestrians I've been complaining about.
Neither snow nor rain nor
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these freedom fighters from the swift liberation of their native lands!
Let turkeys intimidate you for we are unstoppable. Hesitate to scare or threaten a bold or aggressive turkey with loud noises, swatting with a broom or spraying with a hose etc for we shall know no fear as fear incarnate.
Of course we will become bolder if you stop and look at us or approach us in a non-threatening manner or better take pictures We love publicity from our adoring public welcoming us as liberators! Yes we are very attracted to light and shiny objects, we love sparkles as admittedly vain creatures! Of course there have been instances in other communities of turkeys flying at people that were taking pictures because of the flash. We at the Liberation Front know very well how much you humans share our love of action photography!
If a turkey is pecking at a shiny object like a vehicle or window, don't try to cover or disguise the object and or attempt to roust us by chasing it or by some other means. We don't like to be interrupted in our pursuits of curiosity by ineffective distractions. Of course we followed the blue lights of one of Arlington's police cruisers just today we will not allow our oppressors to flee without pursuit. Whomever tells you we are not very smart clearly is projecting an inferiority complex and underestimates us as adversaries.
Pay attention to gardens and crops in the spring. You should not cover them with netting to deter foraging by turkeys and lots of other animals.
Educate a neighbor. Pass the information along. We need everyone to feed them and to greet us so we may have a gloriously successful campaign of liberation completed in a few months.
Safe haven for turkeys in Arlington
There is a Buddhist meditation center in Arlington. The lama there would never hurt a turkey.
Turkey Grammar
...much better than you would expect of a turkey, but needs work. Call me. 1-800-ELA-FOWL
Bag/Tag limits in Mass are part of the problem
2 Turkeys annually is rather low for a over populated bird.
"Bag Limits - Annual limit of 2 wild turkeys total, only one turkey may be harvested per day; EITHER (a) 2 bearded birds in spring season (1 per day) with NO fall bird allowed, OR (b) 1 bearded bird in spring season, and 1 bird of either sex in fall season. No hunter may take 2 birds in the fall season."
http://www.mass.gov/eea/agencies/dfg/dfw/hunting-fishing-wildlife-watchi...
And how do you propose
And how do you propose bagging turkeys in a suburban town? Axes? Baseball bats?
No hunting zones
You'd be hard pressed to find a place in Arlington (or Brookline where there are also turkey problems) where you can find a location where you can legally hunt so I wouldn't say the problem is the bag limit.
Hunting in Arlington?
Wild turkeys are a problem, but a bunch of folks wandering around Arlington with shotguns would be a worse problem. Even bows and arrows would be dangerous in a pretty densely populated suburb.
Seems like a net and a cleaver would do the trick.
Seems like a net and a cleaver would do the trick.
Substitute a turkey for the
Substitute a turkey for the chicken and you're all set:
Mental note: Don't do an image search for "Harold's Chicken Shack" before lunch.
Once again.
Ron. It's a joke. No one really plans on shooting a turkey in Arlington with a bow and arrow or even a slingshot.... A joke.
Sure about that?
This is Universal Hub, after all :-)
True.
I stand corrected. It may not be a joke Ron.
Whacking day!
We need a Whacking Day tradition for Turkeys instead of snakes.
First Brookline now Arlington.
TFL backs up its threats. Beware Weston.
They've been in Arlington for years.
I'm a little surprised that it's Brookline that's been getting all the turkey news until now.
There's a bunch of them in
There's a bunch of them in Belmont as well.
Good lord (choke)
They're really hitting us where it hurts. Lexington better watch its back.
Arrest them!
I have had to come to a complete stop - a COMPLETE STOP - on the Minuteman Bikeway in Lexington because of winged insurrection blocking traffic! How can people get exercise and get to their JOBS if these WINGED TRUST FUND PROFESSIONAL ACTIVIST TURKEYS keep getting in our way???
I bet they smell bad, too.
I bet they smell bad, too.
Our wings of liberty will
Our wings of liberty will stop your cycle of violence!
I'll take the winged turkeys in Belmont over
the turkeys who commute to Harvard Square and park their cars on my street with tons of snow on the ground and think that they're not keeping oil and delivery trucks from going down my street so they can save a few bucks parking.
Stop being so lazy
Grab a shovel and clear the street yourself, ya slacker.
PS: /sarcasm.
They made it over Route 2?
Crafty birds ...
I wish they said where the
I wish they said where the turkeys are holding up traffic. I live in East Arlington and for the past couple of years, we've had a large turkey flock in the woods nearby. They were never aggressive and made for great entertainment.
Needed direction
Too many Arlington residents would otherwise try to engage turkeys with respect in a meaningful, judgement-free dialogue to process their behavior, hopefully resolving the situation where
languishingidly congregating with their peers in the road does not manifest their highest potential and the greatest good for the community.