Sophy Tuttle has quite the tale of what happened on her normally sedate Medford side street this morning when a drunken college student, on learning Tuttle's downstairs neighbor had packed three dozen chickens, a number of geese and ducks and an undetermined number of pigs in a trailer parked in the street, got a hammer and whacked the trailer open (all the while screaming "I know what I'm doing, my girlfriend goes to Tufts!"), releasing all the birds into the street (the pigs just stayed where they were):
I was woken up at 4:30 to the cops banging on our door screaming "Are these your f*%$ing chickens?!?!" "Get the F*%^ out here and get them!". My neighbor runs out and starts screaming at the kid. My next door neighbors and the farmer and his wife now spend the next 2 hours chasing chickens and ducks allll over my neighborhood, all while screaming like it's not 5am. While the kid is sitting in cuffs on my porch, the cop says "are you a college student?", to which the moron replies, "yea, I go to college". The cop replies, "that's why then. All you college kids are f*&%ing idiots". My roommates and I are standing on the porch, watching about 5 seasoned police officers chase chickens on a suburban street at 5 am and trying not to laugh, because, you know, they have guns.
H/t Greg Cook.