You could spend the extra time flossing now that a train's dead at Downtown Crossing

The MBTA reports "moderate" delays on the Orange Line towards Forest Hills due to a train giving up the ghost at Downtown Crossing, which has apparently become the go-to place for Orange Line trains that have lost the will to live.

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Who

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Comes up with the corny headlines?

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Gnomes

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Gnomes hard at work in the rhyme mines of western Pennsylvania. When a train breaks down, somebody at the breaking-news desk inside UHub command central picks up the red phone, the one with just a single button to press instead of a dialpad, and alerts the gnomes to get cracking.

Or, at least, that's what I tell myself as I sit at my scrivener's desk, green eyeshade jauntily fixed on my head, with a pencil I've just touched to my tongue, as I prepare to write out another headline after the semaphore indicating another broken train switches from "Clear" to "Dead Train."

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I think

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the gnomes are really happy that it's Friday, and are starting the weekend a little early.

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OMG, NO

WHY would you encourage people to engage in what should be private personal grooming in front of a captive audience of fellow T-riders? Please tell me you don't have T-related rhymes on file for nail filing, clipping, etc.

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