Cheap Thrills
Armed escorts: from desegregation to our first daughters' first day
From the Little Rock 9 to the Obama girls' first day at Sidwell Friends...
...what a difference half a century makes.
____________
More musings on interracial relationships
I noticed a funny thing while visiting my family in D.C. for Christmas. Simply put: every female in the house (my mom and aunt, who are African-American, and me and my cousin, who are interracial) was either involved with or married to a White man.
Hmm…
That’s curious.
The truth is, the topic of interracial dating is always bubbling in the back of my mind. I went out on a limb and wrote a post about it some time ago on this blog, which got me into some deep water with a few of my readers (a disagreement that I haven’t fully resolved in my mind).
But just recently, the issue resurfaced during a conversation I had with a fellow blogger (a White male) about how personal Obama’s candidacy was to many Americans. I know, I know… interracial relationships? Obama? The two are linked, sure, but they don’t really go together. Which is what made the conversation so poignant.
My friend asked me whether or not Obama was well liked among the African-American side of my family.
“Wow, really? Even though they’re both married to White men?” My friend was baffled. “That’s… strange.”
Before that point, I had never thought of it as strange at all. But maybe it is. And after that, a troubling question began creeping into my mind: do some Black women hold an interracial relationship double standard?
Most Black women who I am close with approve of, and even cheer on, a Black female/White male interracial relationship. But one that’s the other way around evokes a feeling far less warm and fuzzy. For example, if Obama had been married to a White woman… eek. I’m sure we wouldn’t have been as quick to embrace him (and actually, I’ve talked with men and women of every color about this hypothetical situation, all of whom expressed a similar “cringe” - perhaps a topic for a different post).
I’ve been trying to figure out WHY this is for some time. Talking with my family has helped a bit. My aunt, who grew up in the 50’s and 60’s during Jim Crow, gave me this bit of insight:
Being called ugly by my childhood peers - other Negroes - was an everyday experience. …At monthly dances, (wearing my prettiest felt skirts with the poodle-on-a-leash design and for-the-occasion "straightened" hair with ever-so-neat bangs and Shirley Temple curls) no boy ever asked me to dance. Not once. No boy ever asked me for a date. No boy took me home to meet his family. No boy would dare to be seen with me. Far to risky.
What we did to each other is 'our shame'.
I also spoke with my cousin a bit. She grew up in D.C. as well, only during the 80’s. She hung out with and dated Black guys, but oftentimes found that many of them were looking for something “not quite her”: long nails, thin straight hair, etc. Which is the façade that most of her female cohorts put on. But she wasn’t interested in pretending, and, interestingly, discovered that the few White guys she dated were much more eager to accept her as she was – thick bushy hair and all.
So what does this all have to do with Obama’s marriage to Michelle? He’s African-American, she’s African-American – no interracial relationship there. So why was she the reason my family members so embraced his candidacy?
Well, it’s this—a simple statement voiced by my cousin at the end of our conversation that slid all the pieces in place:
“I guess we just love men who really love Black women.”
Wow. The conversation never had anything to do with men (of any color) and everything to do with women. Black women.
So maybe we do hold a seemingly illogical but deeply personal double standard—one rooted in experiences that go back decades. From hearing about my grandmother’s experiences as a dark-skinned Black woman in the 30’s and 40’s to my aunt’s to my cousin’s to mine, I’ve grown an intense fondness for any man who appreciates a brown-skinned lady...
...and I’m half-White. Go figure.
Watch the Flight of the Conchords Season 2 Premiere here
I've been waiting for HBO's Flight of the Conchords Season 2 premiere for what seems like years... well, actually, maybe it has been years. Geez - how can Bankable Productions put out three seasons of America's Next Top Model in nine months but quality television programming takes ages?
Anyhoops, the entire premiere is available for our online viewing pleasure. I've embedded it here for all y'all. I haven't watched it yet - so we can have a dish session all together. Good? Bad? Amazing? I'll tell ya what I think in the comments, then you tell me your take.
Happy conchording!
Tips on how to talk to girls… from a 9-year-old boy
I just stumbled upon an article on Alec Greven, a boy wise beyond his years. He originally hard-wrote his book “How To Talk To Girls” and sold it as a pamphlet at his school’s book fair. Now Harper Collins has published it—perhaps because his advice and commentary are so spot-on.
I read a few snippets from the book on the Harper Collins site, and wanted to share with you a few of my favorites:
“Or sometimes it just doesn’t work out. I had a crush on a girl in preschool. Then my family had to move, so I had to let her wash out of my mind.”“You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power. If you know that now, things might be easier.”
“TIP: To get a girl to like you, talk to her and get to know her.”
(Hmm… I can think of a few boys who may or may not be finding this book in their stocking. I’m sure you can too)
But my favorite thing of all about Alec is this: he plans to be a full-time writer when he grows up and work weekends as an archaeologist or a paleontologist. When I was 9, I wanted to be a hip-hop lyricist and then a paleontologist when I turned 40... so maybe me and Alec were meant for each other?
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My blog was hacked!
Don't people have anything better to do than sit around cracking the code for CheapThrills?
See post below. I didn't delete... for some ridiculous reason I find the whole situation incredibly amusing. I mean come on - Personalised Number Plates? Really? Couldn't even attempt to match my content? Hide an obscene joke in there or something? Or even so much as spell "personalized" correctly?
These hackers are incredibly unimpressive.
Scratch that. Kinda impressive. So now that I've praised your craftsmanship will ya leave me alone, hacker?
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SWEEP:BOS will keep your forgetful Bostonian butt off the tow lot
I don’t own a car. Actually, I’ve never owned one. I just don’t want one. I live in the city, I work in the city, and I hate driving. But also, I hate how people act when they’re behind the wheel. They just get so pissed—especially here in Boston.
A few months ago, I got a glimpse into one reason why they’re all so angry. And then a few days ago, I found a solution (to this one source of driver anger, at least).
My boyfriend went away on business and left his car parked outside our South End apartment. He was only gone for a few days, and mentioned I might have to move the car for street cleaning. I checked the street-cleaning dates on the streets we park on – 1st Tuesday and 2nd Thursday – and figured since it was only the 5th of the month I’d only have to move the car once. So that was fine. I moved the car from the 1st Tuesday street-cleaning street to the 2nd Thursday one – totally forgetting that the first of the month fell on a Thursday. Which meant that in 2 days the 2nd Thursday would be upon me.
Needless to say, the car got towed. It cost $120 to get the stupid thing off the tow lot. Plus they gave me a $40 ticket for who even knows what. Basically, it sucked.
Coming out of this, I can safely assume the whole street cleaning/car towing madness must be a reason why city drivers are so frustrated all the time. So when a co-worker came to me with the iPhone app he had just launched, its value proposition really hit home.
The app is called SWEEP:BOS and it's already a hit among Bostonians.
You select your Boston neighborhood and the application tells you every street-cleaning date you could ever need. It also supplies you with alerts to your iPhone, making it virtually impossible for you to forget to move your car.
Here are some more SWEEP:BOS features:
- Saving your vehicle’s parking spot location
- Adding/editing streets, blocks and cleaning day/times
- Adding/removing neighborhoods
- Snow Emergency information
- Street cleaning color notification (Green = 7 days out, Yellow = 3 days out, Red = 24 hours out)
- Neighborhood information updated regularly and available for download
SWEEP:BOS is $2.99 on the iTunes app store, and works for both iPhone and iPod Touch.
I’m down with this app… because I’ll be damned if I’m ever caught on a tow lot again. They remind me of 70’s horror movies.
Obama’s Inauguration – My ticket request (published in Philly Daily News!), your plans, general craziness
These Inauguration Day tickets have taken on a life of their own. It’s like some Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Golden Ticket madness up in here.
A virtual friend of mine (we met through a blog – so millennial!) wrote a heartfelt letter to her senators requesting inauguration tickets… and received a pair, on the spot! That’s an impossibility today, though, because every senator and congressperson is keeping a 1,000-person wait list.
Knowing this, I decided to draft a letter of my own, send it to PA senators Specter and Casey, and also send a copy as a submission to Philly Daily News’ opinion section. And just my luck, they published my letter today!
Here’s a link to the Philly Daily News publication, and here’s a copy of the full letter.
________________________
Dear Sens. Specter and Casey,I’m sure you’ve both heard it a million times.
What an Obama presidency represents for this country. How invaluable a ticket to his inauguration would be. And, finally, a request for one. I can’t say that my reasons for writing you are any different, or that my claim to a ticket is any stronger than the next Pennsylvanian’s.
What I can do is tell you a short story.
The story takes place in Port Richmond, Philadelphia, where my father grew up. The second oldest in a family of 4 Italian boys, my dad spent his childhood skinning his knees alongside neighborhood buddies in a schoolyard across the street from his family’s modest middle-class row house.
Grammar school became Junior High. Stickball bats became cigarette butts. And my studious father became the outsider. He was teased for his love of music, his glasses, his clothes… even his hair.
His thick, curly hair. His “nigger” hair, as the kids put it.
Fast-forward 20 years to find his 9-year old biracial daughter, me, playing with my Caucasian cousin in the exact same schoolyard of my dad’s childhood.
It’s the moment when I am first called the n-word to my face. And the moment when an inexplicable bond forms between my cousin and me. Because my cousin not only came to my aid, but he actually chased away my aggressors – who were about 8 years older and 18 inches taller than him.
I’ve noticed a new energy across the country since Obama became the Democratic nominee, and even felt it among complete strangers. It’s in the slight upturn of the corners of their mouths. In the knowing glow in their eyes. And in the pronounced statement they made on November 4, 2008.
I think of this energy as the same inherent urge to overcome ancient barriers demonstrated by my cousin so long ago. It’s also the reason why I’d like to attend Obama’s Inauguration on January 20th. To witness the strength and the courage of Americans like my father, my cousin, and the millions of strangers in between—Americans who made their will for something new loud and clear.
Because Obama’s Inauguration is a celebration of his presidency, sure, but to me it’s more a celebration of all the Americans who made this day possible.
Please let me know if there’s a ticket available for me.
Sincerely,
Ms. Ryan D’Angelo Barrett
_________________________
I’m traveling to D.C. for Inauguration Day regardless of whether or not I receive a ticket to the event. My whole family lives in D.C., and I’d be remiss to miss this opportunity to witness history being made alongside my family. But still… having a ticket would be pretty sweet ?
What are your Inauguration Day plans?
237 crazy bloggers write a book. The Age of Conversation II now available for sale!
Last week brought a whirlwind of emotions on me, so I’m a bit behind the times on this announcement (sorry fellow authors!!!): The Age Of Conversation II—Why Don’t They Get It launched last week and is now for sale via Lulu.com. Excite!
I participated in this little blogger experiment last year… 104 bloggers wrote 400-word chapters, which all came together to be part of an e-book called The Age of Conversation. At the time, I had only met 2 of the 104 authors. Now—thanks to my company, Blogger Social and its superstar organizer CK, editors Gavin Heaton and Drew McLellan, and this funny thing called the World Wide Web—I think I’ve met around 60. But this year my task might be harder, because the project has become much, much bigger.
237 authors bigger.
Adrian Ho, Aki Spicer, Alex Henault, Amy Jussel, Andrew Odom, Andy Nulman, Andy Sernovitz, Andy Whitlock, Angela Maiers, Ann Handley, Anna Farmery, Armando Alves, Arun Rajagopal, Asi Sharabi, Becky Carroll, Becky McCray, Bernie Scheffler, Bill Gammell, Bob LeDrew, Brad Shorr, Brandon Murphy, Branislav Peric, Brent Dixon, Brett Macfarlane, Brian Reich, C.C. Chapman, Cam Beck, Casper Willer, Cathleen Rittereiser, Cathryn Hrudicka, Cedric Giorgi, Charles Sipe, Chris Kieff, Chris Cree, Chris Wilson, Christina Kerley (CK), C.B. Whittemore, Chris Brown, Connie Bensen, Connie Reece, Corentin Monot, Craig Wilson, Daniel Honigman, Dan Schawbel, Dan Sitter, Daria Radota Rasmussen, Darren Herman, Dave Davison, David Armano, David Berkowitz, David Koopmans, David Meerman Scott, David Petherick, David Reich, David Weinfeld, David Zinger, Deanna Gernert, Deborah Brown, Dennis Price, Derrick Kwa, Dino Demopoulos, Doug Haslam, Doug Meacham, Doug Mitchell, Douglas Hanna, Douglas Karr, Drew McLellan, Duane Brown, Dustin Jacobsen, Dylan Viner, Ed Brenegar, Ed Cotton, Efrain Mendicuti, Ellen Weber, Eric Peterson, Eric Nehrlich, Ernie Mosteller, Faris Yakob, Fernanda Romano, Francis Anderson, Gareth Kay, Gary Cohen, Gaurav Mishra, Gavin Heaton, Geert Desager, George Jenkins, G. Kofi Annan, G.L. Hoffman, Gianandrea Facchini, Gordon Whitehead, Greg Verdino, Gretel Going & Kathryn Fleming, Hillel Cooperman, Hugh Weber, J. Erik Potter, James Gordon-Macintosh, Jamey Shiels, Jasmin Tragas, Jason Oke, Jay Ehret, Jeanne Dininni, Jeff De Cagna, Jeff Gwynne & Todd Cabral, Jeff Noble, Jeff Wallace, Jennifer Warwick, Jenny Meade, Jeremy Fuksa, Jeremy Heilpern, Jeroen Verkroost, Jessica Hagy, Joanna Young, Joe Pulizzi, John Herrington, John Moore, John Rosen, John Todor, Jon Burg, Jon Swanson, Jonathan Trenn, Jordan Behan, Julie Fleischer, Justin Foster, Karl Turley, Kate Trgovac, Katie Chatfield, Katie Konrath, Kenny Lauer, Keri Willenborg, Kevin Jessop, Kristin Gorski, Lewis Green, Lois Kelly, Lori Magno, Louise Manning, Luc Debaisieux, Mario Vellandi, Mark Blair, Mark Earls, Mark Goren, Mark Hancock, Mark Lewis, Mark McGuinness, Matt Dickman, Matt J. McDonald, Matt Moore, Michael Karnjanaprakorn, Michelle Lamar, Mike Arauz, Mike McAllen, Mike Sansone, Mitch Joel, Neil Perkin, Nettie Hartsock, Nick Rice, Oleksandr Skorokhod, Ozgur Alaz, Paul Chaney, Paul Hebert, Paul Isakson, Paul McEnany, Paul Tedesco, Paul Williams, Pet Campbell, Pete Deutschman, Peter Corbett, Phil Gerbyshak, Phil Lewis, Phil Soden, Piet Wulleman, Rachel Steiner, Sreeraj Menon, Reginald Adkins, Richard Huntington, Rishi Desai, Robert Hruzek, Roberta Rosenberg, Robyn McMaster, Roger von Oech, Rohit Bhargava, Ron Shevlin, Ryan Barrett, Ryan Karpeles, Ryan Rasmussen, Sam Huleatt, Sandy Renshaw and James G. Lindberg, Scott Goodson, Scott Monty, Scott Townsend, Scott White, Sean Howard, Sean Scott, Seni Thomas, Seth Gaffney, Shama Hyder, Sheila Scarborough, Sheryl Steadman, Simon Payn, Sonia Simone, Spike Jones, Stanley Johnson, Stephen Collins, Stephen Landau, Stephen Smith, Steve Bannister, Steve Hardy, Steve Portigal, Steve Roesler, Steven Verbruggen, Steve Woodruff, Sue Edworthy, Susan Bird, Susan Gunelius, Susan Heywood, Tammy Lenski, Terrell Meek, Thomas Clifford, Thomas Knoll, Tim Brunelle, Tim Connor, Tim Jackson, Tim Mannveille, Tim Tyler, Timothy Johnson, Tinu Abayomi-Paul, Toby Bloomberg, Todd Andrlik, Troy Rutter, Troy Worman, Uwe Hook, Valeria Maltoni, Vandana Ahuja, Vanessa DiMauro, Veronique Rabuteau, Wayne Buckhanan, William Azaroff, Yves Van Landeghem, G. Kofi Annan, James G. Lindeberg
A few months ago I created a page of enticing short chapter excerpts supplied by several of my co-authors. Feel free to check 'em out here. And this is mine:
Sure, some people disagree with my views. Some commenters call me a moron. A loser. LAME. But so what? It’s hard to get a good game going without engaging your Queen.
These blurbs are just teasers though. For the real deal you really gotta buy the book. All proceeds go to Variety, the Children’s Charity.
And a special shout-out to my Digitas co-worker Lori Magno, C.B. Whittemore and Cam Beck - for their general AOC-buzz-generating awesomeness.
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