French Toast Alert System
French Toast Alert Level: Low.
We're done for the season, right? Right?
The French Toast Alert System has been developed in consultation with local and federal emergency officials to help you determine when to panic and rush to the store to buy milk, eggs and bread.
Low: No storm predicted. Harvey Leonard sighs and looks dour on the evening news. Go about your daily business but consider buying second refrigerator for basement, diesel generator. Good time to replenish stocks of maple syrup, cinnamon.
Guarded: Light snow predicted. Subtle grin appears on Harvey Leonard's face. Check car fuel gauge, memorize quickest route to emergency supermarket should conditions change.
Elevated: Moderate, plowable snow predicted. Harvey Leonard openly smiles during report. Empty your trunk to make room for milk, eggs and bread. Clear space in refrigerator and head to store for an extra gallon of milk, a spare dozen eggs and a new loaf of bread.
High: Heavy snow predicted. Harvey Leonard breaks into huge grin, can't keep his hands off the weather map. Proceed at speed limit before snow starts to nearest supermarket to pick up two gallons of milk, a couple dozen eggs and two loaves of bread - per person in household.
Severe: Nor'easter predicted. This is it, people, THE BIG ONE. Harvey Leonard makes repeated references to the Blizzard of '78. RUSH to emergency supermarket NOW for multiple gallons of milk, cartons of eggs and loaves of bread. IGNORE cries of little old lady you've just trampled in mad rush to get last gallon of milk. Place pets in basement for use as emergency food supply if needed.
Put the French Toast Alert System on your site! Copy and paste the following where you want the alert to show up. It's 124 pixels wide by 126 pixels high:
<script src="http://www.universalhub.com/frenchtoast.js" type="text/javascript"></script>
French Toast Alert Twitter feed. French Toast Alert data set (useful for building those state-of-the-art iPhone apps).
Become the alert: Buy an official French Toast Alert T-shirt and run around updating your neighbors:
Toastaphon: Toast image derived from this French Toast sammich photo by Bunchofpants.
Comments
French Toast alert T-shirts??
By Yam (not verified) - 12/12/07 - 2:27 pm
I would buy them for everyone if they existed! I swear!!
Sweet merciful syrup!
By adamg - 12/12/07 - 2:36 pm
What a great idea! Let me investigate.
French Toast Alert T-shirts now available
By adamg - 12/12/07 - 11:50 pm
Boston French Toast Alert System
Get this custom shirt at Zazzle
Brilliant!
By S. (not verified) - 12/13/07 - 9:19 am
Will that t-shirt make my butt look bigger?
Only if ...
By adamg - 12/13/07 - 9:38 am
You eat it with lots of butter and syrup.
Huh...
By Anonymous (not verified) - 12/15/07 - 8:07 am
The T-Shirt has a red logo that says elevated, but elevated on the chart is yellow. I would want a severe logo on the front with the whole chart explanation on the back.
If I had a million dollars ...
By adamg - 12/15/07 - 11:36 am
... I'd hire a copy editor.
Changed on the link above. If you bought one of the "Elevated" shirts and want the real "Severe" shirt, e-mail me and I'll get you the right ones.
Even if you don't have a million bucks...
By Diane Lee (not verified) - 1/27/08 - 7:07 am
Adam Gaffin:
Perhaps, I can help?
I am a proofreader of web pages; checking spelling, grammar, links and anything that looks "strange." I am technically not a copy editor because I don't have the skills to edit hard copy lay-outs.
I do have a reference whose e-mail I will be glad to give you in private email.
On your contact page I couldn't find a way to join without installing MS Outlook which I didn't wish to do.
Sincerely,
Diane Lee
"Contact" link
By Ron Newman - 1/27/08 - 10:11 am
is just a e-mail link. It doesn't have anything to do with MS Outlook.
Yes
By Foxed - 12/18/09 - 1:38 pm
But-but-but... if you have Outlook on your computer, and alot of PCs do, it automatically opens up a Compose screen in Outlook. If you haven't set up Outlook, it'll make you set that up first.
I'm not sure about other web-browsers, but in Chrome, you can right-click and "Copy e-mail address" (even without highlighting the link!). Then paste it in your To field.
My Shirt
By Info Search (not verified) - 1/23/08 - 12:30 pm
So how do I get mine??
Avi W.
french toast t's
By knitnzu (not verified) - 12/13/07 - 9:39 am
Oh yes, those are just wonderful! Make 'em Make 'em! I do remember french toast as an evening meal, probably Saturday or Sundays, because Fridays were Beans and Franks (unless we had some extra cash, then we got some steak). Or has it been so long that I've been away and I've got Friday's and Saturday's meals mixed up?
French toast Ts
By Anonymous (not verified) - 12/29/07 - 12:48 pm
Hey Knitnzu - you got em mixed up if you grew up Catholic - no meat on Fridays, remember?
Finally!
By Dave Daniels (not verified) - 12/13/07 - 10:41 am
Finally, an alert system that actually MEANS something. Now this is a system I can wrap my fork around.
French toast alternatives
By adamg - 12/14/07 - 1:39 pm
Dumplings.
Tomato soup and grilled-cheese sandwiches.
No no no no no
By Anonymous (not verified) - 12/14/07 - 2:19 pm
The beauty of the french toast system is that the three necessary and sufficient ingredients are bread, milk, and eggs: the three perishables that always disappear when snow is announced. If anything, it should somehow also tie-in with toilet paper...the one non-food perishable that disappears just as fast when bad weather is on the way.
As Chris Crocker would tell us:
LEAVE FRENCH TOAST ALONE!
Shirts
By Water Tanks (not verified) - 1/21/08 - 1:14 pm
LOL, wonderful shirts. What a great idea!
Regards,
Dave C.
You know, I was just
By Suldog - 1/23/08 - 1:15 pm
You know, I was just thinking - shouldn't it be "Freedom Toast"?
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
great minds think alike
By Brett - 2/4/09 - 7:23 pm
I had the same thought a few days ago.
Sidenote: jeez, Adam's been laid off barely a day and the slacking has already started :) We're currently at "green", but "elevated".
French Toast Alert by email
By wellbasically (not verified) - 2/15/08 - 2:09 pm
I was caught at Roche Bros in W Roxbury during a rush on the French Toast section, so many people that they brought in palettes of eggs and just left them in the middle of the milk area.
Also that Roche Bros in W Roxbury harbors a mysterious virus that makes you age 6 months for every minute you're in there, like that episode of Star Trek, so there were a lot of confused and desperate people in dairy.
So I would really appreciate getting the Alert by email.
Sweet Merciful God, when will this end
By wellbasically (not verified) - 2/28/08 - 4:07 pm
Another one? That's three this week!
No Kidding
By Melaleuca Frank VanderSloot (not verified) - 3/6/08 - 4:13 pm
No kidding, needs to cool down a bit!
harvey l?!!!
By The fatal femme-bot (not verified) - 12/11/08 - 12:30 am
screw leondard, dick albert is the man!
No joke
...besides adam!
Adam, Can you fix the alert
By Anonymous - 2/5/09 - 8:56 am
Adam,
Can you fix the alert system so that the delicious french toast isn't tainted by the alert level color?
This is too funny. I'm a
By anon (not verified) - 3/3/09 - 6:11 am
This is too funny. I'm a retail manager, and you should see the idiots go crazy when snow is predicted. My personal favorite as a drug store manager were: the emergency condoms.
Code Blue?
By Dave - 4/11/09 - 4:39 pm
I've been seeing snowflakes since around 3 or so.
Facebook
By Maggard - 12/3/09 - 3:15 pm
We really need a Facebook craplet for French Toast Alert status.
Anyone care to toss one together?
FB
By VCDrake - 3/1/10 - 9:42 pm
Yeah, I want this as a FB app, so it can sit as a box on my page.
Sidebar Widget
By Foxed - 12/18/09 - 1:53 pm
So, I use Windows Vista... and Google Desktop. I'd really think it was neat to have a sidebar widget for French Toast alerts...
The French Toast Alert System
By Tim (not verified) - 2/3/10 - 9:40 am
I must say the french toast alert system is funny. I currently live just out side of Washington, DC & trust me when I say, these people don't know how to drive in good weather. When that 4 letter word (snow) is put in the forecast. They go from "green" to "RED ALERT". There is nothing else to consider for these people. Example, this past Dec. we got about 18" of snow. These people that have cars with about 4 to 6" of clearance are out driving & are getting stuck & they can not understand why. DUH!