Massholes

Don't respond to their middle finger with one of your own - it's just what they'd expect. Instead, learn from Brian McPherson's experience with a couple of Massholes irate at his daring to cross Columbia Road in Dorchester in front of them:

... They started screaming at me in Spanish and giving me the finger. I stopped in front of their vehicle and gave them a genuine smile and wave. This really got them angry. They then whipped past me and I continued to smile and wave. They then stopped in the middle of Columbia road and continued to yell at me while I continued to, you guessed it, smile and wave. ahhh. Now if they were really in such a hurry why would they have time to stop?

Its so gratifying being so happy and friendly and it seriously pisses people off. ...

Channel 7 reports six people were injured when a motorist cut off an ambulance at Allston and Kelton streets around 4 p.m.

Cambridge Police provide the feel-good road-rage story of the month: Around 3:30 p.m. yesterday on Cambridge Street, two motorists got into your basic Masshole traffic dispute, but one that ended a bit differently, at least after the police got involved:

Both parties shook hands and apologized for their actions and went on their way.

Their first encounter.

Channel 7 reports the legislature has passed a measure requiring motorists to slow down and move over when they see flashing blue/red lights on the side of the highway, rather than continuing to drive straight into a cruiser or whatever, like they now do with some regularity.

With roughly 0.08 inches of snow on the ground, a Southie Masshole marked his territory today.

...and get a ticket from an unamused trooper.

Seriously, if you've been "talking for ten months" about how you really want to go to Mt. Auburn and recognize if you go into labor during rush-hour...how about a backup plan? Or stay with friends nearer Boston as she gets near her due date? Or call an ambulance so your Special Little Snowflake can be born at the hospital 35 miles from home? John, here's what they look like.

My favorite part of the story- Davis claims he was told by other troopers to use the emergency lane, but "drive carefully and keep your hazard lights on." Blinkahs: the Masshole Get Out of Any Traffic Idiocy For Free cahd.

The Herald reports on Big Mouth Jim Braude's day in court; Braude acknowledged driving the wrong way on Morrissey Boulevard but said his ticket should be dismissed because a state trooper mailed him the ticket rather than handing it to him. The trooper testified he was more concerned at that point about protecting the life of the British prime minister - at whose car Braude seemed to be aiming.

Channel 4 reports that an alleged Masshole who drove around a train-crossing gate managed to get out of his car when it got stuck just before an MBTA commuter train plowed into it in Abington this afternoon. Nobody on the train was hurt, but passengers on one inbound train had to be put on a bus to Braintree as crews cleaned up the resulting mess.

The Patriot Ledger reports the driver "became distracted" and didn't see the gate coming down until it was too late.

How many Massholes can truthfully state they almost caused an international incident - and almost got taken out by a Secret Service sniper protecting the life of the British prime minister? Not content to merely be living the dream, Braude is, of course, contesting the ticket he got.

Park and Pray is a new blog about owning a car in Boston, and it starts off with a chronicle of the five main types of people you compete with every night for a space - and how to defeat them.

Cambridge Police report that a raging motorist who had words with a bicyclist on Prospect Street in Somerville yesterday morning caught up with the bicyclist again in Cambridge and this time got out of his car to give the guy a real piece of his mind and possibly a beatdown. Only he forgot something:

The suspect's motor vehicle continued and struck a second motor vehicle when the suspect left his motor vehicle in drive to confront the reporting party.

Earlier:
Karma takes care of raging bicyclist in Cambridge.

Meanwhile, Cambridge cabbies were pretty ragey yesterday as well. Cambridge Police also report they had to break up a fight among three employees of a cab company around 4:20 p.m. on Fulkerson Street - and that around 9:30 p.m. two cabbies got into some fisticuffs when one allgedly tried to cut in on the other at an Essex Street cab stand. And then, about two hours later:

... [T]wo taxi cab drivers got into an argument on Elliot St. One of the drivers stated that the other driver kicked his rear passenger side door causing damage.

The Cambridge Chronicle reports a guy working on a scratch ticket while driving his Jeep down Mt. Auburn Street on Aug. 31 plowed into a utility pole, which then fell on four people. The driver was also injured when his Jeep landed on the driver's side. On a positive note, the guy won $100 from the ticket - which should help pay for his legal costs - the paper reports.

Bostonia Rantida reports:

... In the aftermath of a rainshower last week, I was walking to a local post office during my lunch break. I was walking in the street when a van came barreling down it. I moved as far towards the curb, since there was fencing up right next to the street. As it got closer, the van slowed considerably, and the driver said, "Bet you thought you was gonna get splashed!" and laughed. Then he drove off. ...

Make it from the left lane, clip the car sitting in the right lane, then just drive off. Lyss reports on her Masshole encounter on Centre Street in West Roxbury last night:

... He cut WAY too close to the right and I heard a horrible scraping noise coming from the front end of my car. Asshole had struck me. I honked and honked and honked, as the light turned green I pulled up next to him, honking and gesturing, trying to get his attention. I wanted us to pull over and exchange insurance info. But no. The masshole drove off down towards Belgrade Ave. Luckily I got his license plate number, as well as the name and phone number of the company he works for. ...

Berto describes a granny-Masshole encounter on the American Legion Highway in Revere today:

... I slammed on the brakes, and she glided in front of my car with about two feet to spare.

Then she stopped. At a green light. On a highway.

Apparently, she wanted to turn left, but didn’t make it to the turn lane. She just stopped in front of me, next to the turn lane. I hit my horn. Several others behind me followed suit. She wouldn't move.

After about 15 seconds of sitting at a dead stop in the middle of the highway, she cut her wheel and inched toward the turn lane. Then stopped. Then inched up again. ...

Jeff Cutler reports on an encounter of the mini-van Masshole kind in a Big Dig tunnel.

And that's why he couldn't signal to let Sean Roche, bicycling behind him on Beacon Street in Brookline, know that he was about to cut in front of him to get a parking space. No free hands, you see, sorry about that, old chap.

OK, Ned Batchelder doesn't put it quite like that, but he's annoyed with a "parking pig" who takes up two spaces under a shade tree in the company parking lot so that nobody touches his precious Found On Road Dead pseudo sports car (oops, there I go again), and one fewer person can have his or her car stay a bit cooler in the summer. He seeks advice on what to do now that his polite note on the windshield has failed to stop Mr. Compensating for a Small You Know What:

... Should I continue leaving notes on his car? Notes with my phone number? Should I tell the security guy about it? Should I take a deep breath and focus on more important things?

Cambridge Police report that when a man felt he'd been cut off on Cambridge Street last night, he caught up to the other motorist and beat him with a baseball bat he happened to have handy. No word on the condition of the other motorist.

Jimbo provides a couple of data points from East Boston.

Memo to Massholes in delivery trucks: You might not want to throw bananas at bicyclists when your company's name, phone number and Web site are all listed on the side of your vehicle. And, yes, we're looking at you, Boston Organ and Piano.

Hat tip to Brad Searles.

Iron Bowl, originally from Singapore, explains why he's in favor of keeping police in charge of directing traffic around street construction:

... Police details is what makes Massachusetts roads so safe. As many people know, there are a lot of MASSHOLES in Massachusetts, and having a police cruiser, and a police officer, definitely helps slow traffic, making it less dangerous for the workers.

In Singapore, I've seen untrained construction workers try to control traffic, Though the Singapore drivers are much more tamed, it is very likely to see drivers ignore these road workers and cause a massive traffic jam or accident.

Directing traffic is not as easy as it seems. Even in a bright orange vest, I personally have many close encounters with cars almost hitting me while I'm helping with traffic control at an accident scene. ...

So you want to know why DJDiva was doing 15-20 MPH in a 40-MPH stretch last night? The guy in front of her was neglecting his speedometer as he read the paper on his commute.

Jay G reports a similar phenomenon involving a "Suzy Soccermom" in a BMW SUV:

... I especially love how the cell phone glued to your ear caused you to significantly overreact to every single stimulus you encountered, resulting in comical mashing of your brakes every time a squirrel dashed out of a tree...

Stopping in the middle of the intersection, with no oncoming traffic, and waiting for the light to turn completely red before proceeding was a nice touch, too. ...

Alicia normally just accepts double parking as a way of life in not-so-gritty Southie. But the driver of a BMW SUV double parked outside the PS Gourmet Coffee on Dorchester Street, keeping people from turning right, really got her dander up:

... [T]here was a lady behind the wheel just chatting on her cell. In that situation, if you're waiting for a friend, why not unblock the right hand lane and pull about 20 feet forward onto East Broadway? It's just common courtesy, people!