OK, so somebody at Wal-Mart (or maybe the camcorder factory) wanted to recreate that SNL skit with Justin Timberlake, only a bit more graphically. And, sure, it warrants the seven-alarm all-hands-on-deck coverage that only WHDH could provide. Still, Dave Alpert doesn't get Channel 7 referring to the mom and her "teenage child:"

... What is that? Is he a teenager or a child? My feeling is that they threw in the word "child" to make the act seem that much more despicable. When I was a "teenage child", we all took showers after gym in one big shower–and we all had penises. I think the kid can take seeing another one without trauma and a lifetime of therapy. ...