Wusses in SUVs
By adamg - Sun, 09/02/2007 - 10:20pm.
Lisa Williams puzzles over a spate of SUVs stopping so their owners can tenderly drive over speed bumps:
... You bought a huge 4WD car that is supposed to be able to drive across roadless African plains, yet you can't bear to get it over a parking lot speed bump? ...
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...and your point is?
I can't believe this bothers you to the point of blogging. Isn't the point of speed bumps to get drivers to slow down in areas with small children and pedestrians? Apparently its working... how annoying for you!
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And you have not!
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Hmm...
Get your own fucking blog or shut up?
:o)
Two reasons to buy an SUV
1) you need something with off-road functionality
OR
2) you don't know how to drive and are not interested in learning
It used to be that people bought them for reason #1 - I fondly remember early 1970s Ford Broncos, Jeeps, International Harvester soft tops, and the occasional Toyota Land Cruiser. People used them when they went hunting and to take care of their range lands.
A big fancy car to go into town with? That would be a Cadillac with longhorns mounted to the front! Jeeps and Broncs were working cars.
Now people buy them for reason #2: they need armor and privilege to cover for their lack of competence behind the wheel. It is possible to turn a Lincoln Cavitator or a Ford Exponential in a single lane, but I have seen it done maybe once by neighbor who was a long-haul trucker.
I rented an SUV last week on vacation. It was a smaller one, but it was as big as my minivan with far less space for people and stuff. They "upgraded" us from an intermediate since they had too many people showing up for the vehicle we had booked in advance, but nobody wanted the Suzuki.
I have to admit, it was really nice when we had to navigate cattle grates and dirt roads to get to the trailheads in the John Day Fossil Beds and the Painted Hills of central Oregon. That stuff is much nastier than a stupid speed bump! Otherwise, it ate to much fuel given the interior space.
Totally.
...and the post is freakin hilarious, too.
(Of course, I also think anyone who can stand to drive an automatic transmission doesn't understand how driving works, but that's neither here nor there.)
Try getting a minivan with a stick...
... I had to get rid of my precious Microbus (it was age 37; I couldn't get parts for a '70 Type II any longer, and I can't machine my own) in favor of a modern minivan. Automatic transmissions were the only thing on offer.
The good news is that the baby seat is rather more compatible with a modern vehicle :)
IMHO, SUVs are designed for wusses. If you need a truck, get a pickup or a Jeep; if you need to haul a hockey team, get a minivan. Sheesh.
What does an inconvenient
What does an inconvenient transmission have to do with "understanding how driving works"?
Reason #3
Does not want to rent U-Haul to transport anything larger than a pillow. Hate pickup trucks. Minivan feels like small boat and makes one feel like one has given up completely.
Anyway, my CR-V is more fuel-efficient than your minivan.
Okay, I guess that's four reasons.
Kind of surprising actually
The typical SUV driver doesn't slow down for anything or anyone, so I guess it's nice that these speedbumps are actually working on some drivers.
Pro-Pothole
It's true. The typical SUV driver fishtails through both lanes all the way up the J-Way... then slams on the brake because he sees a wee pothole he just needs to go over at 1 MPH.
It's almost enough to make me pro-pothole. I find this annoying when I'm a driver; I'm happy to zip over a pothole in my MINI - one just assumes he will get the alignment done every year - but those big Chevrolet Yetis have to tiptoe over the mean little pothole? As a pedestrian, however, I appreciate the temerity of SUV drivers. I think they'd be happy to run over dogs and children, but potholes strike fear into their suspensions.
I know the city will never, never put speed bumps or a stoplight in on my
racetrackstreet. The only thing I can hope for as far as traffic calming goes is potholes.I've gone so far as to dream that I could plant potholes in the street with pothole seeds. In my dream, I sat on my porch and watched my garden sprout and blossom with Ford Escobars slowed to a crawl.