The gang that couldn't rob straight, the drunken road rager and the boorish out-of-town Paris Hilton fans

Boston Police report arresting four alleged Dot yeggs for busting into a Boylston Street Radio Shack early yesterday - possibly with their fists.

Torrey Parham, 25, Michael Collins, 35, Eddie Lanham, 34, and Daniel O'Connell all face charges of breaking and entering with the intent to commit a felony, receiving stolen goods and pot possession.

When the alarm at the store went off around 3:22 yesterday morning, a whole squadron of nearby cruisers responded. An SUV full of nervous men at West Newton and Worcester streets in the South End was stopped; two men in the rear had bloody hands. In addition to Radio-Shackish goods, police also found a rifle, a handgun, a crowbar and, of course, a sword.

But wait, there's more:

Around 10 p.m. yesterday, patrol officers noticed two cars zoom past them at Main and Austin streets in Charlestown. This made them curious, they stopped the cars and when they approached the first car noticed the motorist was crying. She claimed she was parking when the second motorist pulled up to her and started swearing at her. Frightened, she left, only to have the guy then chase her at increasingly faster speeds.

William Farley, 40, of Charlestown, now faces a bevy of charges.

Finally, police called to disperse a large crowd of people hoping to gain a glimpse of America's Top Skank leaving the Estate off Boylston Street early this morning discovered some fans did not wish to disperse:

While talking to the group, suspect Yee responded to officers' orders for the crowd to disperse by yelling, "We're not going anywhere! Who the !$*% do you think you are talking to!?" Again officers announced their office by yelling "Boston Police!" At this point, suspect, DeFrancesco yelled "I don't give a !%#& who he is!" and proceeded to punch an officer in the face.

Jose DeFrancesco, 33, of Lawrence, was charged with assault and battery on a police officer, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Philip Yee, 35, of Concord, NH, and Shon C. Cardwell, 33, of Haverhill were arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

Innocent until proven guilty, except maybe for Ms. Hilton, who seems to have lost her innocence long ago.