And a nation cries out in despair
By adamg - Mon, 04/07/2008 - 9:01am.
In her ongoing front-page series on the travails of rich white people, the Globe's Sarah Schweitzer today gives us a sensitive, caring look at Duxbury residents desperately trying to prevent their scions from taking the wrong path in life, by paying up to $80 an hour for etiquette lessons at the Duxbury Yacht Club. I think the following sentence sums up the rough road ahead for them:
"So many of these children had never seen two forks," Tunnicliffe said.
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I had to check the url twice
I thought Adam had mis-linked to http://www.theonion.com.
This would be hysterically funny if it was, well, intended
to be hysterically funny...
Ahoy polloi
"...and class, tomorrow we'll teach you how to properly tie a sweater around your shoulders."
"Participants learn to speak
"Participants learn to speak respectfully to store clerks, not cut in lines, and clear their food court tables after eating."
Amazingly, I picked up some stuff like this from my parents. Is there an epidemic of kids being raised by wolves out there?
Huh
Amazingly, I don't give two forks about this story.
civility and manners
If these kids were learning how to buy an unlawfully possessed handgun, tag public property with graffiti, or boost a GPS then I'd judge it critically. Instead, they're learning skills for civil society. That's a good thing.
It Certainly Is
Civility and manners stand out even more nowadays due to their general absence. And it's not all about how to properly care for polo ponies either (though that's certainly important): just having proper table manners is a social boon. I saw these two people at Chez Henri in Cambridge not long ago who stabbed at their food as though it still needed to be killed. Ick. Still, the fact that parents aren't teaching their kids these basic skills is rather discouraging.
A new kind of trend story
Give the Globe some credit, Adam. This is a new kind of trend story - it boldly claims a trend without including a single number to back it up other than asserting that classes are full. To wit: "Across the region, parents are flocking to sign up younger and younger children for etiquette classes that they say are needed to reinforce the finer points of dining and courtesy that they may struggle to instill at home."
Never bring a fork to a knife fight
Caroline Roberts compares the Globe story with the Herald's Sunday MACHETE MADNESS gem:
I'm confused
Do I hold a machete in the right or the left hand?
Fork You
Finally! One thing that teachers aren't expected to fit into their workday!
I think it depends
On whether it's a formal rumble or something more casual, like a knife fight in an alley.
I do believe it actually
I do believe it actually depends on whether you intend on hacking up your victim before or after the salad course.
Obligatory Chianti and Fava Beans Joke
n/a
Ahh, the travails of living in D-lux-bury.
This is rather pathetic but I guess another indication of the coarseness of our current society. I came from a typical blue collar background and I learned early on which fork to use. (How many of us recall being told to "mind our Ps and Qs"?)
What the heck is wrong with these people that they have dropped the ball with their kids? Problem is, the rest of us who try to create some semblance of a polite and courteous world get stuck with these philistines.
What is wrong?
I think people are getting caught up here on the downfalls of society. So much is generally wrong but th4ese classes are just trying to work on one thing. It may seem paathetic but this is a necessity or it wouldn't exist. One thing at a time..
spellcheck...
Such as all my type-os in that post. One thing at a time....
Never seen two forks?
Pathetic indeed. It looks like some suckers are being parted from their money. These kids have never seen two forks before? Then they've never had so much as Oneidaware from KMart. I don't think anybody makes flatware sets with just one fork.
If thus far in their lives, daily contact with their parents hasn't taught them such simple concepts of courtesy as not cutting in line, a half-hour of being browbeaten by a stranger won't do it. Maybe the parents think forking out some money to have a certified expert teach their kids some manners absolves them of the responsibility.
Never ever had two forks at home
We had one spoon, one fork, and one knife per meal.
Did you have to share?
I have never in my life seen a flatware set with only one fork. I bought our family's first full flatware set when I was 10, as a mother's day present, from my paper route money. It had two types of spoons and two types of forks... and we already knew why.
Was your flatware made out of wood?
And you admit it?
Please don't tell us you also had napkin rings or used paper napkins instead of having the maid provide fresh linen for each meal.
Isn't a cloth napkin more environmentally sound?
A cloth napkin can be used for more than one meal if it hasn't been too terribly soiled. It takes no more effort to wash and iron them than it would a shirt or a pair of trousers.
We skipped the napkin rings but had matching cloth napkins and placemats. Occasionally on Sundays we'd use a nicer tablecloth.
Hillbilly Napkins
We hand the kids some old and soft, sort of threadbare and stained wash cloths to clean up with. We even dampen them slightly. Grape juice spill? No problem. We launder them and toss them when they get holes in them.
Jewish hillbillies
Freshan year, one of my suitemates at Brandeis was an actual Ozark Jew - had a Southern accent and even a beard; you could just picture him sittin' on the porch, rifle in hand, awarnin' the revenooers to git.
And I'm sure he used a shmatte just like the ones you describe.
We skip the ironing.
We skip the ironing.
Do you think they'll have a
Do you think they'll have a section on not allowing a disagreement at the BSO come to fisticuffs?