Boston Police report a Worcester man ordered some scallops and a chicken lobster at the deli department at the Hyde Park Avenue Shaw's yesterday, then put them in his shorts. Unfortunately for him, police say, store employees noticed his newly enlarged package as he tried to walk out of the store without paying and detained him until police arrived to put the pinch on him.

No word if the store put the seafood back or if police held it for evidence.

Boston Police also report on some trashy neighbors at 84 Bunker Hill St., Charlestown:

The victim and her sister who share an apartment reported to officers that they were sitting inside their home when they heard their glass sliding door open and their neighbor dump a plastic bag of trash inside their house. The victim reported that she in turn took the bag of trash outside and placed in front of her neighbor's door. The victim and her neighbor share a common deck and apparently have been arguing about leaving trash on the deck.

The victim reported that after she placed the trash bag in front of the suspect's door, he came out, confronted her and threatened to throw her off the 2nd floor deck. The victim informed officers that her neighbor then attacked her, knocking her to the ground causing to suffer the laceration to her shoulder. The victim reported that she grabbed a nearby 2X4 to defend herself when the suspect grabbed it from her and threw it at her as she retreated back to her house to call the police.

And that's how Brian P. Guarnieri, 34, came by to be arrested yesterday.

Innocent until proven bulgy by way of a chicken lobster.