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The supermarket employees couldn't help but notice the bulge in his shorts
By adamg on Wed, 06/11/2008 - 11:59am
Boston Police report a Worcester man ordered some scallops and a chicken lobster at the deli department at the Hyde Park Avenue Shaw's yesterday, then put them in his shorts. Unfortunately for him, police say, store employees noticed his newly enlarged package as he tried to walk out of the store without paying and detained him until police arrived to put the pinch on him.
No word if the store put the seafood back or if police held it for evidence.
Innocent until proven bulgy by way of a chicken lobster.
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Comments
Bigger Balls Than Me
Or, maybe, much smaller ones.
A lobster in your shorts? I don't care how tightly that lobster's claws may be bound or pegged or whatever, that's not something I'd EVER do.
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
Well.
I worked at a supermarket for a few years back in college, and had several interesting shifts with the plainclothes store detective.
We actually did stop a guy who tried to put a lobster down his pants. It's hard to take a picture of the perp for store records when you're laughing too hard.
I learned some interesting tactics on that job. We weren't supposed to pursue a shoplifter if they made it outside. How do you keep a perp in the store when you're casually tailing them but they're about to make it to the automatic door? Hold up a $10.00 bill. "Excuse me, sir, did you drop this ten dollar bill?"
When they turn back around for it (or even to say "No, that's not mine") you've just bought enough time for the Loss Prevention guy to grab 'em. I saved my store the indignity of losing an entire ham that way once.
Golly
Those are some big trousers!
Sweatpants, the shoplifter's friend
A whole lotta stuff can go in sweatpants. Sometimes they don't stay in the sweatpants, but that was the second-favorite location besides "up under the shirt."
Sorry, have to say it
Is that a ham in your sweatpants, or are you just glad to see me?
sure wasn't happy
The ham guy had it under his jacket, actually. But the lobster guy had sweatpants. The fact that the sweatpants immediately turned, well, damp when he tried to introduce a lobster to them was an even funnier indicator of his mischief.