Churning, lashing, swelling, we've got the fever - Hanna fever!
Hanna is on her way. And you know what that means, right? Reporters have to see how many times they can cram words like "churning," "lashing," "packing" and "swelling" into their stories. Bonus points for anthropomorphizing giant rain storms (don't look now, but Hanna is eying the East Coast as she churns northward, packing hurricane-force winds in bands that are expected to lash New England this weekend and spawn torrential downpours, flooding already swollen rivers).
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Even ESPN?
Seems they are always talking about Hannah Storm and eying the sports center or something.
media hysteria
And of course, let's scare the crap out of everybody unnecessarily, because we're obviously too stupid to think for ourselves. Wow, it's just like winter storms in New England, only warmer outside.
Adam, can/should the French Toast Alert System be temporarily reactivated for this "weather event"?
French toast or beer?
Seems like beer might be better for a hurricane?
I'd Say it's a Six-Pack Storm
Maybe even a half-case?
One Mojito?
New Orleans recipies
Here's the Beverage list with recipes... It's New Orleans policy to follow all instructions and report to the nearest liquor store in the event of a hurricane! :)
MANDATORY EVACUATION
1 1/2 oz.
Absolute Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz.
vermouth
Clamato
Prune juice
Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose fichus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof - even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it - if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.
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CATEGORY 5
1/2 oz.
vodka
1/2 oz.
tequila
1/2 oz.
rum
1/2 oz.
bourbon
1/2 oz.
gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice
Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.
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CONE OF PROBABILITY
1 oz.
cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar cone
Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of prob ability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot. If you hear Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (they should change this to the "Cantore Zone"... damn him.
Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?) - that is my personal favorite!============================================================
FEEDER BAND
2 oz.
Midori
2 oz..
rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw.
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BEACH EROSION
1 1/2 oz.
Goldschläger
1 1/2 oz.
apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw
Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee ass back to New Jersey where it belongs.
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DOWNED POWER LINE
1 1/2 oz.
rum
5 oz.
Jolt Cola
Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass.
Drink while trying to figure out
how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.
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FLOOD ZONE
2 oz.
Kahlúa
2 oz.
Baileys Irish cream
4 oz.
rum
Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all
over the countertop.
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COLD SHOWER
2 oz.
Blue Aftershock
4 oz.
Sprite
Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue.
Repeat.
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LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT
1 oz.
Jack Daniel's
Splash of sarsaparilla
Rock salt
Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt.
Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast his ass with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.
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THE CHAIN SAW
1 oz.
Goldschläger
1 oz.
Rumplemintz
3 oz.
Jim Beam
Splash of vermouth
Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can. Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.
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FOUR-WAY STOP
1 1/2 oz.
vodka
1 1/2 oz.
& nbsp; vodka and Midori
1 1/2 oz.
vodka and Galliano
1 1/2 oz.
vodka and grenadine
Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass. Serve one to yourself and three other people. The person with the clear shot of vodka drinks first. The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on. If somebody drinks out of order, develop a quick case of road rage and beat the living crap out of him.
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BLUE TARP
1 1/2 oz.
Curacao
2 oz.
pineapple juice
Splash of lime
Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve.
Wait six to eight months
for someone to repair the cup.
If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed,
out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't
hurt himself in the process.
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FEMA FIZZLE
1 oz.
Southern Comfort
2 oz.
sloe gin
Tonic water
One week after the storm has passed and your neighborhood is still in ruins with no sign of help on the way, combine Southern Comfort and gin in a cocktail glass. Fill remainder with tonic and add a dash of Angostura bitters. Serve with a nut brownie.
Before drinking, raise the glass and say the toast, "Doing a helluva job Brownie
tl;dr
.
Well said, the_passenger.
Unfortunately, however, many people really are too stupid to think for themselves, which is what the media frequently counts on.
This storm, and the ones after it
are Hanna and Her Sisters.
If Ike is lined up,
then isn't Ike the brother? (lol)
If Hanna spawns tornadoes ...
would that be hanna and her twisters?
hanna and her twisters
Such a fertile mind! You're killing me SwrrlyGirly
Team Coverage
Quick, someone wake up Shelby Scott and get her down to Hull to get some pictures of the waves!
Jack Harper
Shouldn't Jack Harper be out there somewhere, too? I would have supposed Steve Sbraccia, but he moved.
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
Old Family Joke
Whenever there was any sort of storm coming, we always said we wouldn't take it too seriously until we'd heard that Shelby Scott was lashed to a pier somewhere on the shore.
How do we rate this storm?
We have the French Toast Alert System for winter snowstorms ... what is the hurricane equivalent again?
Somerville had a lot of outdoor events planned this weekend
We've got seven outdoor events going on in Somerville this weekend. I hope this storm doesn't wash them all out.
EDIT: Two of them have now been postponed to Sunday.
What our weather forecasts say about us
Mark O'Neill considers our impending "extratropical storm" and contrasts the forecasts here with those in his native Ireland:
He then attempts to answer the question: Where does this difference come from?
One helluva determined storm
Channel 4 warns: Tropical Storm Hanna has her sights set on southern New England.
And once Hanna makes her mind up, nothing will get in the way of her lashing bands of churning rain.
Further evidence of Hanna's determined nature comes from the Globe:
She's no mere storm, she's Terminator Storm! And she won't quit until Linda Hamilton kicks her titanium ass over and over again!