It's 9 o'clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in

Adam, you're dating yourself.

If you want to be "hip" you have to quote songs from the "aughts" ...

Closing time - time for you to go out, go out into the world.
Closing time - turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.
Closing time - one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.