This is why we need the ability to shoot laser beams out our eyes
By adamg - 8/28/09 - 7:46 am
Dan Miller takes the 5:45 a.m. train out of Fitchburg. As you might expect, it's normally a pretty sleepy affair. Except today, thanks to a clueless woman loudly babbling away on her cell phone:
... As we arrive at North Station, commuters looked forward to some peace on the Green or Orange Lines, or perhaps a brisk walk to their office. ...
Comments
This is an uncommon occurance on the Fitchburg line?
I need to move. This seems to happen almost every morning on either the 6:55 or 7:20 out of Lakeville. I've moved before if I see someone who is using their cell phone.
(I've also regularly moved to avoid two women who enjoy to talk on the train. Last week they shot me an offended look when I moved. Sorry, whoever you are, but I want a nap.)
Happens all the time on
Happens all the time on Kingston trains. I often get up and move (unless I have a really good seat.) I also move if someone smells (especially if they reek of cigarette smoke.) First audibly say "Whew!", then I get up and move, and sometimes I'll say, "Agh, it stinks!" as I leave. I feel as if I'm providing a service, maybe they don't know they stink. Sometimes it is an overuse of sickly sweet perfume. I refuse to just sit and take it. As for the screamers, I just crank up my music and drown them out.
My favorite cellphone idiot was the guy who I observed
very loudly talking on his phone every morning on an inbound Haverhill train for about two weeks. Although I tried not to pay attention to him, it was clear to me that these conversations were not personal in nature.
One day, another passenger, after failing to get this man's attention, made a polite comment to this man's friend about his conversations.
The man's friend abruptly replied to this passenger "He's a lawyer, and needs to use his phone to conduct business with clients."
Obviously this lawyer missed class the day they discussed the meaning of confidentiality.
Now here's an idea
Why not sit next to him with your cellphone, pretend to be a doctor and loudly discuss the embarrassing medical conditions of your patients while he does his thing? Doctors need to conduct business with their clients, too, even the ones with explosive diarrhea and boils that need lancing and unidentified yellow stuff coming out of their eyes.
Great Idea, Spatch
Reminds me of a lawyer who shared office space with my company. He would go into the john, seat himself on the throne - presumably while actually taking care of his business - spread legal papers all over the floor, and call clients. Whenever I heard him on the phone in there, I tried to pee really loudly, released a fart if I had one handy, and flushed at least twice.
Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com
Make him self-conscious
Wait till he says something noteworthy, then "call a friend":
"Hey, you're not going to believe this, but I'm on the train, and the lawyer next to me is working on that case you were talking about! ... Yeah, he says they're worried about the wife's testimony. ... no, he didn't mention the drinking yet. ... no, I don't think there were photos... Youtube? Really?"
Brilliant
Billing $400/hr while riding the T.
May I suggest earplugs?
I used to have to take what I think was the 5:50 a.m. out of Salem to get to my college classes on time. Myself and a couple other commuting students would meet in the second car and have a study group on the way to class. We were shushed a lot by folks who wanted to sleep until one of us (the smart one) started handing out earplugs.
Folks, you're on a public train. You're going to have to deal with the public.
Amtrak has the 'Quiet Car'
where cellphones are not allowed. Perhaps the T could do something similar?
Instead of having a "quiet" car, let's put all the folks
who want to yak on their cell phones the whole trip together in a single car, and keep the rest of the train cars quiet for everyone else.
If nothing else, perhaps being forced to ride with others of their ilk might cause them to realize how disruptive their behavior really is to the average person.
That'd take.. conductors
Given the constant complaints about conductors who don't even collect the fares, I can't imagine a quiet car would be much help. Even on four-hour Amtrak rides, there are people who don't clue in to the big blue signs every ten feet, nor the angry glares; a conductor has to Officially Inform Them before they get off the phone (or, just as often, before they continue their conversation all the way down the aisle as they walk to the next car.)
And if the train is really busy...
...say goodbye to the Quiet Car.
Nothing worse than relaxing on a train headed to Boston when 45 minutes past Wilmington, DE the conductors come through and take down all the quiet car signs, and the thing is invaded by a sudden onrush of obnoxious passengers.
Ouch
Was that on the Acela, or the regional? On the Acela,the quiet car is usually full before the other cars. On the regional, I thought there WAS no quiet car, but I got on at Penn, and maybe they'd already pulled the signs down.
If that happens again, perhaps this will ease your journey: take a peek out the window in Bridgeport, CT. At the Pleasant Moments Cafe, which is exactly what it sounds like, there's a sign:
OVER 50
DANCERS NIGHTLY
They really should have tried to fit it on one line.
Whenever this happens to me,
Whenever this happens to me, I fantasize about starting to whistle the theme from Bridge Over the River Kwai, and having all my fellow passengers joining in one by one.