By adamg on Wed, 07/05/2006 - 11:35pm Choices It's like a baby New York! With cheese steak! The guy running around in his pajamas Philly's got Benergy! All of them - Why can't Philadelphia leave us alone for God's sake? Beats me Topics: Annoying companies Tweet WidgetFacebook Like Comments It's Payback Leave it to Philly to lay in wait all these years to finally make its move. Remember back in the late 1980s that Massachusetts tourism commercial that aired on local TV stations? (I never understood why it aired in-state anyway.) It featured a helicopter flyover of Boston at dusk and had that catchy little jingle: The spirit Massachusetts is The spirit of America, The spirit of the red, white and blue... This little advertising ditty has been circling my brain for almost 20 years like an asteroid. It's on a seemingly random orbit of my memory, passing ever-so-close to my concsciousness until on occasion it crashes head on and I find myself singing or humming the damn thing. We have a deep impact now, and this will be stuck in my head all day or longer. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH. Now, imagine, if you will, a Philly resident with the same affliction, who finally had the power to get back at Boston with a whole barrage of awful commercials. Separately, I noticed one thing in those commercials that bears mentioning. There's a quick shot of Geno's, a place famous for its Philly cheese steak sandwiches. Geno's is the place that caught headlines recently for having an "English only" policy pasted in the place. I'm sure the commercials were shot long before this debate raged, but I bet it roils people who don't like the store's policy to see them being ballyhooed as a Philly institution in a tourism commercial. the Spirit of America came after... You can make it! (bum-BUM!) Make it in Massachusetts! NESN and Southwest Airlines to blame, not Philly It's not so much the commercials that are annoying (and it's really not the fault of Philadelphia, but rather Southwest Airlines for trying to get us to go to Philly on their cheap-ass airplanes), but rather the dopes at NESN who think our attention span must be really short-term as they play the same commercials over and over and over and over and over and over. Between the Philly commerical, the stupid Tyler Hicks Ford ad and anything from Bernie and Phyl, I'm ready to shoot my TV by the third inning! Philly's more fun Although, really, shouldn't it be "Philly's more phun"? In any case, that's brought to us by the Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corporation, whose URL is gophila.com, which sounds like some sort of activity decent people don't want to know about involving gophers. Also see: The Cheesesteak That Can Eat Me, or: Philly's More Fun When You Sleep With The Fishes! ... His father, James "Jimmy Steaks" Vento, was convicted of contracting a murder when he sought revenge against someone who revealed that his steaks contained horsemeat. As for his brother, Steven "Steakie" Vento (I swear I'm not making this up), he was a convicted drug trafficker and mob associate. ... They're also responsible for the Philly's Got BENergy!(tm) campaign, which is a personal sore spot because while on a trip to New York, the wee one spotted a "Philly's Got BENergy!(tm)" billboard in Times Square and she then proceeded to yell "Philly's got BENergy!" at the top of her lungs over and over until finally her mother could take no more and told her to knock it off, at which point she'd rush up to me and whisper "Philly's got BENergy!" over and over again. BENergy, meet JOEmentum! I'm hoping the wee one didn't enthusiastically follow Joe Lieberman's campaign in 2004. Joementum indeed. There's a remedy for that; There's a remedy for that. It's called WEEI. Yes, 'EEI Because those "It's gonna come down on Landsdowne, better call 1-800-54-GIANT!" commercials never get old! Hrumph Anything's better than Margie, the Woman Upstairs at National Lumber, trying to sing "Wait 'til you see us!" Or Mattress Discounters. Or or or. Yeah, Giant Glass ads bite. Wendy's must die After watching the last 10 innings of yesterday's Sox game, I hope that the unicorn smashes itself into Wendy's corporate headquarters and eats alive everyone who works there. Gophila v. Mothra I wonder why they use gophila.com instead of gophilly.com. Gophila sounds like something from the Creature Double Feature. GOPHILA! RRRRRRAWR! it's a good thing I used to live 30mi south of Philly, and visited there often. Philadelphia is *not* New York. This is a good thing. People who refer to it as "the sixth borough" or "a baby NYC" or whatever annoy me. Y'all are Bostonians, I think you understand this.