Boy, were they bad

Yeah, yeah, it's just the first game of a 162-game season, but oof!

Michael deals by composing haikus:

Yanks got their fourth win
Finally beat the Red Sox
But six months too late

Red notes: The Matt Clement Cy Young campaign begins Tuesday afternoon.

Jeff analyzes all the ways the Sox newcomers sucked last night, but adds:

The old row is that you will win 54 games, lose 54 games, and what you do with the other 54 determines the success of the season. This is just one game in the Loss column. ...

Peter: Can John Kerry please wake up his favorite player "Manny Ortiz" (combined 1-8, 4K, 2B) and tell him that Spring Training is over?

Don't read Soxaholix if you'd be offended by comparisons to Pope John Paul II and Terry Schiavo