I'll bet they get access to smoother Skee-Ball lanes with wider holes, too.

I don't have the scratch for it, but given the choice between waiting in the Superman: Ride of Steel line for two and a half hours with smokers, teenagers tryin' to be all mean an' tuff, basketball-bouncers, drunken rednecks and hordes of linejumpers -or- dropping two hunnerd bux for an escorted tour, you bet your sweet bippy I'd spend that cash.

This steep price, though, is designed for the overall package, the meet-n-greet and the "VIP" experience and the lovely feeling you get when you cut in front of EVERYBODY and get them ALL mad at you.

But it doesn't have to be like that. Taking a tip from Disney, many Six Flags parks have tried variants on the "virtual queue" system, which work like restaurant beepers. You check into a line at a certain time, go back out and wander freely (or shop, as they hope you will) and when it's time to ride, bleep bloop goes your roller coaster beeper and you're allowed access through a shorter, fast-lane line. You didn't cut in front of everybody, but you didn't have to wait in the entire full line.

It wasn't so much a "stay away from the masses" thing as it was a "not having to stand in line for an hour and a half" thing. The price was cheaper, too; around $20.00 or so depending on the park and how much they wanted to gouge you for the treat. But they seem to have dropped that.

I don't like the CEO's whole keeping-away-from-the-icky-proletariat angle, but after spending nine years visiting at least half the Six Flags-owned parks around the country, I can safely attest that you know, sometimes, keeping away from the icky proletariat at the theme parks is an OKAY THING.

I once had to specifically ask for a security escort out of Great Adventure, because I got a group of Angry Youths kicked out of a line because they were intimidating kids just so they could get ahead. Usually when someone tries to jump ahead in line (and at Six Flags, linejumping is an Olympic Sport) they say things like "Excuse me, my friends are up there, excuse me, I have to get to my friends." These Angry Youths were simply demanding "COMING THRU. MOVE." until they encountered someone larger and stronger than them, at which point they said "Excuse me, my friends are up there..." So I waved a friendly security guard over, pointed at the Youths doing their thing in the line, and oh look, they all just got yanked out of line and lectured severely.

When it was my turn to ride, I saw the Angry Youths waiting for me at the ride's exit, giving me the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean, nasty ugly things. So once the ride was done, I politely asked an employee if I could have a security guard escort me out of the park.

"Why?" the employee asked. "What did you do?"

He got his supervisor over, who asked the same question before summoning his manager, who came over and asked me the same question again.

To make a long story short ("Too late!") I safely escaped from Six Flags, did not get shivved, and lived to ride another day.

Anyway, Six Flags sucks and I won't ever give them another dime of my money, not when there are local amusement parks like Canobie Lake or Funtown in Maine which are more fun, friendlier, and more deserving of one's entertainment dollar.