The makings of a Joan Vennochi column generator

Mike Mennonno gets us started with the core algorithm for the system:

... Vennochi's modus operandi seems to be to broadcast the nasty message of "the most cynical pundits and radio talk-show hosts" on the right while pretending she's above them with little caveats like "that is a harsh conclusion I do not share." It's as artless as it is disingenuous. ...