Be on the lookout for a small willow tree in a blue ceramic pot

Specifically, the one somebody stole from Juniper Pearl's front porch this weekend:

... listen, you murderous, plant-thieving scoundrel, i may never get my hands on you to pummel you soundly myself, but know that karma and i are tighter than a sausage and its skin, and she is on to you, buddy. if you haven't heard, let me tell you: the girl's got some moves. retribution shall be swift and thorough. prepare to rue the day, douche bag. ...