I've witnessed people being Massholes while they drive, ride the T, watch (talk through) a movie to name a few scenarios. Tonight however, I'm faced with an entirely new experience that rivals the others.
The 10pm Apartment Move-In
I've often asked myself "Is there anything so mundane that it cannot be Massholified?" Apparently not, as moving into one's apartment now takes its place high on my list of things slathered with a thick, putrid layer of Massholery.
It began around 10 pm this evening as I heard several loud, unfamiliar voices in the long-vacated apartment above me. They made their way downstairs by throwing themselves upon every step before making one, final leap onto the lobby floor outside my apartment with a slam that reverberated across three rooms. I heard the lobby door propped open, followed by the sounds of boxes being dropped.
"They can't...they can't really be moving in right now, can they?"
Apparently so. By 10:30 they had only grown louder, and there was something that sounded distinctly like a jackhammer pummeling away at my ceiling from the second floor. It echoed through the stairwell and I can only imagine that my fellow neighbors were thrilled with it as I was.
I thought back to the renovations that went on in that unit 11 hours a day, 6 days a week for 8 weeks several months ago, and how I had hoped that the conclusion of construction meant an end to endless noise. How wrong I was.
I decided it was time to introduce myself and make polite note of the fact my roommate had to be up for work at 5am...you know, because not everyone gets the weekend off. The man who I can only guess is my new neighbor's father managed a meagre "We'll try to be quiet" that came across with the sincerity of Lindsay Lohan talking about her devotion to rehab.
Boxes were thrown on the floor above my head.
Feet ran up and down the steps.
And here at nearly 11:30, the shuffling and slamming continues.
Yes my new neighbor, you have earned a special place in the hierarchy of Massholes.
It's going to be a long, hot summer, and I cannot, absolutely cannot wait until the lease is up at the end of August, though I'm afraid if this is any indication, I will suffer a complete mental breakdown before that liberation comes. If anyone know of a place with easy T access to downtown where one could find a pretty cheap studio / one bedroom and not find their sanity pushed to the breaking point, let me know.
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