Pedro Martinez

Dear Pedro: You don't have to brush back A-Rod, just strike him out.

Beth says Martinez's shellacking almost went too far. After that dropped ball by Lastings Milledge, she thought:

... I wished right then that it was over. I wished the Mets manager would pull him. I wanted there to be mercy. But there wasn't. ... This was defeat. I root for the laundry as much as anyone, but you might as well have drawn a moustache on the Mona Lisa right in front of me. I want the Sox to win at absolutely all times, but I never wanted to see that. ...

Kristen was not quite so sympathetic:

... We're so accustomed here in Boston to hearing Pedro's claims about a lack of respect that we made sure to give it to him. Over and over again. ...

The Chief notes Dan Shaughnessy's long awaited Pedro column:

It was Dan's long awaited take on the even-longer awaited return of Pedro Martínez to Fenway Park. It was hard to say which one stunk worse. ...

Soxaholix takes note of Boston Sports Media Watch's Dan Shaughnessy write-alike contest by trying to figure out an entry:

...And his thesis will be along the lines of "Oh, you poor unwashed, unsophisticated, Boston fan fools. You drove Pedro away with your mean Puritanical spirits and the terrible things you said about him. I tried to warn you."

Mike: Well there's that, but I don't suspect Shaughnessy can resist the urge to go with a multi-front attack that will hit both the fans and Sox management concurrently.
...

No, not better than Shaughnessy. Exactly like Shaughnessy. At Boston Sports Media Watch, Bruce Allen is running a Shaughnessy write-alike contest:

... Next week, the New York Mets come into town, and of course with them will be Pedro Martinez. We know Shaughnessy will write a column about the return of Pedro. You probably have a good idea what it is going to read like.

So write it.

That's right, write Shaughnessy's column about Pedro's return, complete with all the phrases and references he's bound to use. When you're done, email it to me. I'll go through them, and when Dan's column appears, (Right now Pedro is lined up to pitch on Wednesday) whoever's column is the most like Dan's in both style and substance will win a prize. ...