And can we keep him?

It's one thing to call Matsuzaka a fat, bloated SOB, but quite another to say he got that way by gorging on "dumplings and shumai." So, Pink Hat Hell reports, boston.com has changed the reference in a Tony Massarrotti post to "cheeseburgers."

Can't trade him, demote him or cut him.

Take your pick sports fans. Sound off.

Dice K gets 18th win, Red Sox move closer to playoffs
(Clinch Tie for Wild-card)
The Sports Network
Toronto, ON - David Ortiz belted a two-run homer and Daisuke Matsuzaka pitched seven shutout innings, as the Boston Red Sox crept closer to a playoff berth with a 3-0 victory over the Toronto Blue Jays in the finale of a three-game set from the Rogers Centre. more

Kristen enjoyed last night's game, in particular, Matsuzaka's performance:

... Normally I find myself yelling at the TV, "You don't get candy for every extra pitch you throw, Daisuke!" as he proceeds to take an 0-2 count to 3-2 before either walking the guy or striking him out with a brilliant pitch that, for the love of all things small and furry, I can't figure out why he didn't use twenty minutes ago.

But last night seemed less irritating. I didn't even want to kill Julio Lugo. Well, no more than usual. ...

Jennifer Lord reports that she went downstairs this morning, her fifth-grade son was already there, eating cereal and watching Matsuzaka struggle as he got ready for a day of MCAS exams:

... [T]hese were his parting words this morning when I wished him luck.

"Don't worry mom," David said. "I'm more Big Papi than Dice-K on MCAS."

Japan Grown Masshole Wannabe discovers a tie between Dice-K and the Double D that goes far deeper than that Japanese sign out in right field.

Oga's on Rte. 9 in Natick? Beantown Bloggery has it on good authority - from a sushi-chef friend:

... How often does Daisuke eat there? I was told once a week. How often does his wife eat there? Once or twice a week. Daisuke's a pretty busy guy, so often times it's just his wife and a few of her friends. ...

The Sausage Cook, who cooks and sells sausages at Fenway, reports record sales during Monday's game - 340 sausages. But:

... They will live long in my memory as the most gluttonous and stingiest fans I've encountered. By contrast, on Tuesday night Sausage Cook grilled 240 sausages - and made double the tips! Who knew? ...

Marty just blurts it out: Dice-K sucks.

Amy, meanwhile, says the guy who really sucks is the guy sitting behind her and a friend at the game last night who drenched them with a cup full of spit, leafy remnants of chaw, and sunflower seed shells.