And the Haitian columnist? And the Brazilian columnist? And the Vietnamese columnist? And the Russian columnist? Oh, right, the Globe is a bit short of funds right now, so they can only afford an Irish columnist.

With Hendry Street condos going for record prices and soup kitchens and drug dens long since converted into chic bistros, it's just a wonderful time to be in Boston - unless you're a metro columnist for the Boston Globe, in which case it's become so hard to find local stories that you find yourself writing about poor people in Uganda and Catholic food pantries in Washington, DC.

When news breaks, don't just sit in front of your keyboard and pontificate. Hit the streets and actually talk to people affected by the news. You'll get a much better story (and get leads for more stories). Now, class, let's look at Kevin Cullen's parking-ticket column as a great example. Adrian, wake up!

Back when he was a metro columnist, Brian McGrory would always write about Opening Day. Yesterday, his replacement in the Globe's White Guy slot, Kevin Cullen, expressed his disgust at being mistaken for a Yankee fan and a geezer (bonus points for slipping in a reference to a 1979 British labor dispute). Today, the grande dame of Boyo Columnists, Mike Barnicle Himself, weighs in (granted, at the Herald), with a Column for the Ages that complains how future generations will look back and wonder why developers ruined Fenway by building condos around it, instead of leaving it surrounded by Howard Johnsons and Burger Kings, those bastihds.

What, no alleged child molesters inside 128 to write about?

Revisionism note: On the advice of a commenter (see below), I reread Cullen's column. And the commenter is right: Cullen isn't longing for the old days, even though his first few paragraphs seem that way. Instead, he's explaining that what mobsters we have left are probably getting away with stuff because the feds are reluctant to launch investigations that would only lead to Connolly-esque sins of the FBI past coming up in court again. At least, that's what I'm thinking now. However, I still think the city would benefit from a columnist who spends more time investigating today's crop of murdering, drug-running thugs rather than worrying about the Big Cheese. My original, snarkier, comment below the jump:

And that's a good thing! Props to Kevin Cullen for today's column on the changing North End: Can you imagine Brian "LimoLiner" McGrory going up to Jerry Angiulo's old place to get a door slammed in his face by Angiulo's brother? Me neither.

Globe Editor Martin Baron has just told his staff that Globe staffers Kevin Cullen and Yvonne Abraham will be replacing Brian McGrory and Eileen McNamara on the left side of the metro section. Cullen could be a wicked cool columnist - he did a great job as police-beat reporter for the Herald and then the Globe (Abraham could be good, too, I'm just not as familiar with her work).

Baron's memo follows: