Andy reports from the front lines of a battle between an evil hulking bureaucracy and a ragtag band of rebels intent on liberating the stairways that have been closed for months now along the hilly section of Beacon Street:

... Now, one can assume there is a reason for this (my guess is the issue of safety what with no handrails and all). Still, the one thing us Brooklinians won't take, it's some annoying MBTA traffic cone telling us when we can and cannot use a stairway. So, one bold Saturday, the people took action. A anonymous group in the grand tradition of radical patriots claimed the stairwell in the name of the people. May their famous proclamation live with the likes of Luther, Fawkes, and Jefferson. ...

Brookline Police report that a woman was trying on clothes at Mint Julep, 1302 Beacon St., around 1:45 p.m. yesterday when a man walked in and "indecently assaulted her." Described as a light skinned Hispanic man in his 30s, 5'5", medium build, with dark short hair, wearing sunglasses, white dirty sneakers, an old grey t-shirt, with blue writing that the victim believes had "Nike" imprinted on it and blue jeans.

Seems the brokers are now referring to a rapidly condoifyin' part of Brookline as SoBe (not to be confused with Sobro).

Only problem, aside from the general stupidity of it all: In the past, brokers came up with these MoNiKers to try to disguise an area's crime-ridden/desolate/poor-people past. And I'm just having trouble conjuring up any mean streets in Brookline these days - especially in SoBe, CoolCor, WaSqua, EaHa or WeHa, let alone BrookVill or PuttHam.

Brookline Police report on an attempted armed robbery around 10:30 p.m. yesterday near the Winchester Street trolley stop on the C line:

The victim states that she was walking from the T stop when a man approached her from behind, the suspect used the corner of his jacket to cover his face, kept his right hand in his pocket and demanded money from her. She showed him that she did not have any money. The suspect was last seen on the corner of Fuller St. and Winchester St. No weapon was shown, but the suspect hinted that he had one in his pocket.

The suspect is described as a Hispanic male, mid 20s, 5'5", wearing dark pants and a dark waist-length rain jacket with a hood.

Earlier:
Woman attacked near Brookline Village T stop (December).
Woman sexually attacked at St. Paul St. T stop (November).

Steve Garfield was there on Beacon Street, took photos (such as the above) and shot videos:

... It was cold and rainy with temperatures in the 30's. The group of protesters I saw there looked like a cross between an Improv Everywhere and and Halloween party crowd. ...

Riggs wishes you go back to whatever level of hell you arose from:

... The way you took the single car to full speed leaving the Copley construction zone then slammed on the brakes a few yards later at the junction: my legs are jelly. ...

If you've ever wondered how the EEI got into WEEI.

Are we sure the Beacon Street turkeys aren't really gremlins?

... Last night, for the second time, there was a wild turkey on Beacon Street in Brookline blocking my way and forcing me out of the bike lane and into the street. ...

With photo of one of the increasingly gigantic beasts.

Hmm ... Think we could train them to eat rats?

If you know who Jason Biggs is, then this will impress you. My main question: Did they employ somebody to keep the terror turkeys away?

Carol Egnaczyk works on terrorized Beacon Street and decides enough's enough (she explains how she and co-workers came up with their strategy here - where she also posts additional video):