Sarah Schweitzer once again makes the tears stream down our faces, with her plaintive cri de coeur on the wrenching downturn on Nantucket:

Sensing a potentially hard summer, businesses such as the Nantucket Gourmet are cutting back inventory. The store is stocking fewer Cuisinarts, jars of Nantucket Secret Spice and Nantucket Pepperguns - the sorts of things that private chefs tend to dash in for before a dinner party. Other businesses are competing in ways they have never had to before. John Merson, who rents renovated historic homes, said he is throwing in a catered dinner and groceries as part of the $5,000 weekly rental price this year.

"People are asking for discounts, bargaining hard," he said. "I am trying to use services to compete so I don't have to negotiate price."

When will it ever end? And you, Mr. Outraged Liberal, you are not helping with your crazy talk:

... Here's a novel idea for the lifestyle beat. Can we hear a word about the lives of the dwindling native island population who have been up against the gun for years as the off-islanders came in and jacked up the cost of everything?

Rich People Reporter Sarah Schweitzer is back with a report on the latest Hot Thing: Rich pregnant women who hire "baby planners" to stock their nurseries because they are terrified of all the tough decisions they'd have to make by themselves at Babies R Us.

None of the planners she interviewed have actually had babies themselves, but that's OK, because they get kickbacks referral fees from companies whose products no doubt are the absolute best ever made.

One of the first things they do is start whining to administrators that their $50,000 a year should buy them common areas where the couches aren't haphazardly arranged, the Globe's Sarah Schweitzer informs us, in another of her exposes on the seamy underbelly of the overclass.

The Globe today really puts the news in context. A front page story declaring the worst recession since World War II sits right atop crack investigative reporter Sarah Schweitzer's expose on rich white parents in the South End: South End getting (a lot) younger.

Yes, shocking: Rich white people are taking time out from accumulating wealth to pop out babies!

Yesterday, the Globe gave us an insightful front-page look at those modern-day pioneers forsaking their six-figure financial-services salaries and Back Bay condos to become Vermont cheesemakers. Today, the Globe once again awakens us from our complacency with a front-page expose on the travails of another breed of pioneers: People buying million-dollar condos at the Natick Mall: