It was a fantastic moment when the Boston Scientology Ministers realized that they had just received this donation to continue their weekly distribution of The Way to Happiness - A Common Sense Guide to A Happier, More Successful Life Booklet. The Volunteer Ministers and local business owners distribute this booklet throughout the neighborhoods of Boston. It is just one of the many public services of the Ministry.

As he exits the Porter Square T stop, Spatch notices the Scientologists and his inner bastard starts struggling to come out, demanding to tell them what's what. Then one of the Scientologists spots Spatch:

... "Hello!" he said, big Stepford grin plastered over his Miscaviged face. "Would you like to participate in a free stress test today?" I stared briefly, stock-still in terror. Brain fought with brain. Bastard fought with Normal Guy. My eyes began to bug out as the greatest psyche battle I'd endured in a long time took place, and it ended only when I actually opened my mouth to speak.

"GHNIEEEAAAAAAAAARGH!!" I shrieked, sounding exactly like an angry eaglet denied his regurgitated dinner. Then I ran off across the street, arms flailing, like a mongoloid chasing a balloon. I didn't stop until I'd rounded the corner, safe in the shadow of the CVS. ...