sharks

Area man jumps the shark

adamg — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 14:09:54 +0000

Wildlife officials not pleased; Henry Winkler unavailable for comment.

Shark week in Gloucester

adamg — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 13:20:47 +0000

State Police air wing activated when great white shark shows up at mouth of Merrimack River

adamg — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 16:13:38 +0000

Must've violated parole. Channel 7, of course, sent its own helicopter, and you can watch the hunt for the poor thing live (wouldn't it be awesome if the shark jumped out of the water and bit one of the copters?)

UPDATE: Channel 4 ruins our fun by reporting at 12:39 that while, yes, the State Police helicopter is frantically zooming around the mouth of the Merrimack it has, in point of fact, yet to actually find a shark. Chief Brody is unavailable for comment.

Coast Guard gets all Chief Brody on us

adamg — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 16:44:00 +0000

Sure, the chances of you being gobbled by a great white shark are incredibly low, but don't be stupid out there, the Coast Guard says, in a holiday weekend shark advisory for the waters off Massachusetts:

"Predation is not generally a concern for boaters and paddlers in Northeast waters," said Al Johnson, the First Coast Guard District's recreational boating specialist, "but I have no doubt that a great white shark that swims into your comfort zone would surely find a splashing paddle or dangling hand inviting. I also expect that same passing shark would spend little time differentiating between boater, paddler and prey."

While shark attacks on humans in the Northeast are rare and there have been no recent sightings along coastal beaches, sharks are attracted to the area by the growing seal population. Johnson advises boaters and paddlers to avoid passing pods or springs of seals and avoid seal colonies and other areas where pinnipeds bask.

If it's all the same to you, I still want Chief Brody in here

adamg — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 02:39:57 +0000

State officials assure us there's nothing to worry about, dum dum, dum dum, dum dum, dum dum, dumdumdumdumdum.

When they start shooting frickin' laser beams, we'll know we're really in trouble

adamg — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 12:52:55 +0000

Channel 5 alerts us that at least one swimmer down on the Cape seemed determined to recreate the Jaws poster:

... "[The shark] sensed that swimmer in the water from a quarter of a mile away. And we all know that sharks have these extra-sensory ways of seeking their prey and this was visual proof to me," Breen said. ..

In other menacing news, Channel 5 also reports a rogue manhole cover attacked several cars on Rte. 2 in Lincoln this morning.

Nothing frightens Canadian bikers - except sharks

adamg — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 17:16:44 +0000

The Cape Cod Times chums things up:

Shark Week at the Herald fails to live up to expectations

adamg — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 13:08:43 +0000

Headline: Shark sightings put Cape on alert.

Story: "Year-round residents aren't fazed."

A real newspaper would hire some gruff, squint-eyed sea captain so the reporter could get into a shark cage and go mano-a-finno with the Great Beast. Surely, two-fisted Herald maritime reporter O'Ryan Johnson isn't scared of a little fish, is he?

Shark Week came late on the Cape this year

adamg — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:07:02 +0000

Sharks!

Shark Week

adamg — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:14:53 +0000

Alert the tabloids: Ken Savage videos a brief encounter with a great white shark while on a fishing trip to Stellwagen Bank. He did not have to jam an oxygen tank into its gaping maw, then shoot the tank, however.

Reporter vs. Wild

adamg — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:54:33 +0000

I'm kind of glad Herald reporter O'Ryan Grylls Johnson didn't actually find that great white off Martha's Vineyard, because you know he would've tried to capture it and you know the thing would've eaten him and his boatmates because they wouldn't have a spare oxygen tank to kill it with and the Herald really can't afford to lose any more reporters.

But speaking as a recovering reporter who once went into the deepest woods of Weston with a moose hunter in search of a moose that had been hit by a car the day before, I applaud the Herald's new wildlife beat. When will the Herald be sending reporters up to the White Mountains to go mano-a-pawo with a bear?

We look for the beast outside Bartlett

Or to the Berkshires to go mano-a-talono with a bald eagle?

We look for the beast up a pine tree

I'd pay for video of that.