Here’s the Clark/Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter whomever update in a nutshell:

• His ex-wife Sandra Boss is suing Clark for $80000, her cost recovering her kidnapped daughter. She knows he owns gold coins worth that and has asked for them.
• Clark received a subpoena from the LA County Sheriff who wants to see his and Sandra's sealed divorce case file. They’re investigating Clark’s involvement, if any, in the possible slaying of John and Linda Sohus.

A Suffolk Superior Court judge today set bail for the Suspect Formerly Known as Clark Rockefeller at $50 million in cash (or $500 million in assets), the Suffolk County DA's office reports. His attorney had sought bail of $25,000.

Trial was set for March 23, 2009 for those charges related to his alleged parental abduction.

Innocent, etc.

A Suffolk County grand jury today indicted the Suspect Formerly Known as Clark Rockefeller on charges of parental kidnapping, assault and battery and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Oh, and providing a false name to police (yes, just one).

He's to be a good chap and report to Suffolk Superior Court on Monday for arraignment, the Suffolk County DA's office reports.

That would certainly explain why he spent a total of 15 minutes writing today's column - a new set of insults for "Herr Whacko" - rather than doing any original reporting:

And Clark, just one more thing: When you look at the visitors' log at Nashua Street jail, and see an empty space, you'll know it was me.

Quite so.

Quite so? Yep, that's going to be some piece Kev is working on.

Earlier:
Herr, herr, herr.

Maybe it's just sour grapes that his paper didn't get this month's Interview of the Century, or maybe he's really disgusted at what passes for journalism on Morrissey Boulevard these days, but whatever the reason, Herald Square doyen Jules Crittenden lays into the Globe's interview with the Suspect Formerly Known as Clark Rockefeller today with the sort of joyous vituperation not normally seen on media outlets this side of the Atlantic:

... Scribbler Maria Cramer is immediately tongue-tied as "Clark Rockefeller" dodges her clever opening "Who are you?" question. Globies allow ambulance chaser Stephen Hrones to tell them to be quiet. Also, remarkably, the bowtied bumkissers can't tell a German accent from a Brahmin one, despite having followed the Boston Herald's trail up the Alps to Gerhartsreiter's schnitzel-schnauzing roots. Apparently the Globe is having trouble finding good blueblood help these days. ...

And then he really gets started.

UPDATE: Feds just making it official, that the Suspect Known as Clark Rockefeller is, in fact, Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter.

2 p.m. at FBI Boston office: FBI, State Police, Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis and DA Dan Conley all to be there. Nobody listed from LA, though.

Adam Reilly compares the Globe and Herald coverage of our own little Zelig, to see who had the most scoops.

Now that we've taken the mask off of Clark Rockefeller and revealed one Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter underneath, the Glob's resident chappy Kevin Cullen activates his Smug Powers and writes a column mocking Gerhartsreiter and most of Germany, for that matter. And when Cullen gets going, you better batten down the comedy hatches because no vaguely Teutonic pop culture figure is safe! Even California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't escape Kevin's irreverent jabs and goofy names. I don't know how he does it, but coming up with "Governor Terminator" is a true feat of skill no matter who you are or which newspaper you're working for.

And for those of you keeping score, here is a list of hilarious names which Cullen, taking a page from the Howie Carr School of Columnistin', uses to refer to the faux Rockefeller:

Herr Gerhartsreiter
Herr Whackjob
Herr Loony
Herr Rockefeller

You can tell he's German because Kevin uses "Herr" a lot!

Dave Copeland, who knows something about criminals and New York, makes some calls to learn about "Rockefeller's" less than illustrious career on Wall Street back in the Gordon Gekko days:

... But after two days at Lehman, Rockefeller told his supervisors that he needed to take time off to search for his parents, who he said had gone missing in Afghanistan. Sources said Rockefeller – who told co-workers at Nikko he was film director Christoher Crowe – was dismissed by Lehman. Rockefeller even invited co-workers to the Greenwich, Conn. guest house he was renting for screenings of "his" movies. Rockefeller claimed he was living in the guest house because his own home was being renovated, a claim that co-workers assumed was one of his tall tales.

Within days of his dismissal from Lehman, Connecticut State Police detectives arrived at the offices of both Lehman and Nikko looking to question Rockefeller. ...

One guess what they might have wanted to question him about. Yep.

You know, the one of them coming out of church on Palm Sunday, 2007. His name is Don Harney, he took the photo for the Beacon Hill Times and you should check out his work, which mostly doesn't involve photos of people who are fugitives with fake identities.