Did anybody manage to finish today's Shaughnessy column, in which Danny Boy just can't keep from marveling that few people in London have ever heard of Tom Brady?

Dan Shaughnessy Watch valiantly tries, also noting Shank's continuing disdain for Stateside Patriots fans.

Ed. note: Yes, I admit it: I've been waiting for the right moment to use that line from that eTrade baby commercial.

During yesterday's painful Sox loss, Tim McCarver, when he wasn't busy mispronouncing Massachusetts place names and just being Tim McCarver, kept blathering on and on about how Sox fans felt about stuff, as if he actually talks to Sox fans.

Today, Dan Shaughnessy does the same shtick, writing that:

Red Sox Nation is beaming over the news of Manny getting slapped for 50 games for using a banned substance.

Really, Dan? Yes, many people are relieved Manny's no longer on the Sox, but beaming? Is there anybody out there actually happy that Ramirez is now an all-but-convicted steroid user?

Aside from Shank, that is, who once again has somebody to heap hate on now that Curt Schilling is retired?

2004 was rough on ol' Shank and now his nemesis is retiring, so Dan Shaughnessy attempts to summon the hate one last time.

Oh, who are we kidding? Over the coming year, how many times do you think he's going to reference "the big lug"? Who, finally, is going to pick him up and throw him down that giant shaft?

And this time, it's professional. Jerry Gutlon, author of It Was Never About the Babe: The Red Sox, Racism, Mismanagement and the Curse of the Bambino, has joined the roster at Dan Shaughnessy Watch because Shaughnessy has gone public with his whining about his "unfair" treatment in the book:

... In subsequent postings I'd like to endeavor to illustrate how Dan never saw fit to correct the many, many pieces of misinformation in his tome, The Curse of the Bambino, even though it's in it's 21st printing (at last count), and Shank's gotta know that much of his fairy tale is flat out wrong! ...

Dave M. tallies up all the stories in Dan Shaughnessy's column today that were also in his 2003 book on spring training.

Why did Tom Brady have a rotten season? Why won't he be the same when he returns in August? According to Dan Shaughnessy, it's because he's gone soft. And he hasn't gone soft by sniffing wildflowers and professing his love for kittens in meter and rhyme; no, the real reason is because (and please make sure you're sitting down before your eyes behold the startling truth) Gisele Bundchen was feeding him during their Mexican vacation.

Curt Schilling doesn't think much of Dan Shaughnessy's take on contracts in the Age of Coach Jags:

So CHB chimes in on the BC coaching fiasco in about as timely a fashion as reporting on the Lincoln Assassination at the outbreak of WWI. Sweet. In the world of hypocrites he’s vaulted to the top spot. ...

Oh, snap. Schilling, who sometimes maybe, just maybe, doesn't know when to shut up, then goes on and on about what a loser Shaughnessy is, with copious examples from his coverage of the Red Sox dating back to Roger Clemens days.

And, of course, what would a CHB column be without some 1960s-era song lyrics? And what would a Shank column that isn't about the Sox be without a Sox reference (quick: Who else thought Vesa Toskala's stint was "shorter than a Tim Wakefield playoff start"?) Dan Shaughnessy Watch provides the painful details.

Sox now 0-2 following that column.

From today's CHB column on Manny Ramirez:

"Trust me when I tell you that Sox wins and losses have zero bearing on my happiness."