Better watch out, Fitzy, this kid will have your job some day:

Neasa paints a picture of just how much she likes David Ortiz.

All hail the walk-off king of Fenway Park. Beth was there:

... It was like a movie, where the action goes into slow motion and all sound is replaced by a seashell roar. If I close my eyes, I can still see that ball, so clear against a flat black night sky that I swear I could see the red blur of its stitches as it passed.

The reaction overtook us like a breaking wave, spreading out from the epicenter of the fans with the best view in the corner to the sections around them, and so on, until the chaos crashed over our heads, too, subsuming us in dancing, shouting, laughing, hugging. ...

In the comfort of his living room, Red exults:

... It seemed like a lifetime since I'd seen the guys scrambling toward the plate in a mad dash, throwing themselves around Papi with wild abandon. But, man, watching it unfold again is like slipping on a pair of comfortable shoes, finding an extra twenty in your back pocket, and learning your favorite hooker just happens to be available the night you're in Minnesota. It feels good.

Flip the coin and it would have been hellfire and Rob Schneider, 24/7. ...

Red recovers to write:

... Nothing frightens me more than the sight of David Ortiz trying to leg out an extra base. His is a body crafted for home run trots, light strolls through the Public Gardens and brisk sashays to the buffet table at Kowloons to see if they've replenished the boneless spare-rib tray. But barrelling mad-assedly into third while an outfielder readies his throw? No, no, no, please. My heart can't take it. ...

David Ortiz is auctioning off a 2005 Mercedes-Benz he bought himself as a gift for helping the Sox win the 2004 World Series. Opening bid starts at only $169,000 for this red SL-Class SL65 AMG.

This car will be hand delivered at Fenway Park to the lucky winner of this auction by Big Papi, himself. He will bring you your new car with keys and title in hand.

Via Loaded Gun.

Red: Down Goes The Hindenburg: A Dramatic Reenactment By David Ortiz.

And he's getting sued.

I mean, seriously!

Via Surviving Grady.

Earlier:
Another great Ortiz ad.

Via Sean McCarthy.

Me and Ted have been talking: Stop the slidin', big guy - you'll only hurt yourself.

From the 2004 Sox mural on the side of Dajajo's II Market on Washington Street in Roslindale.

Beth discovers this David Ortiz ad gem (is it my imagination, or do Sox players just make better ads than other sports types?):