Christmas

And Greg MacKay is there.

In which Dominic Luberto discusses his light-related charity effort for Children's Hospital; what he does with his lights after Christmas and the bogus story about him and the fireworks. Oh, yes, and he shows off the 10-foot Star of David he's putting up this year.

You'll probably find this exceedingly hard to believe, but Nancy, Greta and I spent some time tonight with Dominic Luberto, the guy who lights up the Jamaicaway between Halloween and January. No, really: He even showed us around his home, a.k.a. the Castle - he's done an amazing job renovating what had been a decaying 8,500-square-foot stone hulk into a showpiece home you'd expect to see on HGTV or something.

Yesterday, Luberto e-mailed me; he wanted to talk.

The Jamaicaway guy (you know which one), turned on the lights he has up this week.

In Somerville, Kathleen Powers videos all the wreaths the city DPW was putting up on light poles today.

GAH!

So, of course, that means the Mad Lighter of the Jamaicaway is already hard at work on his annual neighborhood-brownout project. After all, he has 500,000 or so lights to install.

As we drove up the Jamaicaway today, we noticed that Dominic Luberto has already put up, not one, but two giant fake Christmas trees in the side yard of his castle. And instead of a puny Santa sleigh on his roof, this year he's turned the entire roof into a giant gold crown, no doubt to remind disbeliever heathen Grinches that Jesus Chris Our Lord and Savior has His eye on them.

We didn't see any metal tubes on his lawn, so we can only assume the city denied his request to shoot off fireworks every night.

Miguelina grows disgusted at all the recalls of toxic Chinese stuff and vows not to buy a single made-in-China toy this Christmas:

... Non-Chinese toys too expensive? Great! We'll buy less toys - but better made ones. That way there will be less plastic crap all over the house. ...

Santa brought Jody's son a handheld electronic game - that only her husband was able to get to work with a technique that dads have used for decades.

Can't somebody do something before the guy who owns the Arborway Castle does some real damage?

In case you missed it, the Globe reported today that NStar has had to put in a new electrical main to support those 250,000 lights he has on between 4:30 and 1 a.m. - although it says it's not sure all those lights are what's causing brownouts in the neighborhood. Luberto told the paper he plans on putting up 500,000 lights next year (will NStar be giving him his own electric plant?), he wants to write a book about his lights and, best of all:

HE WANTS TO SHOOT FIREWORKS FROM HIS FRONT LAWN EVERY DAY DURING THE SEASON.

On the Jamaicaway.

And wouldn't that be lovely? You're driving home from dinner downtown and all of a sudden a surface-to-air missile (because you know Luberto won't be satisfied with some sparklers) comes shooting through your window, exits out the rear and then blows up a fuel-oil truck on the other side of the road in a blinding fireball that sends all the gawkers who've come to see the show into a frenzy of applause, and isn't it a pity when some of them, blinded by the light, stumble onto the Jamaicaway only to get run over by some guy from Rozzie in an SUV?

If Tom Menino can crush the last vestiges of life out of the harmless Enchanted Village, the least he can do is keep this increasingly out of control Christmas extremist from blowing up half the neighborhood.

Report from the scene - Steve and Carol give us a video tour of the lights.

Sarah must have missed the circular about "All against All" Day at the mall, because when she went yesterday, it was one long struggle of kill or be killed. One example:

... [T]hen there was the woman who hit me with her bag because I had the nerve to walk quickly past her slow-moving ass. I mean literally said something along the lines of "No you don't!" and HIT me with her bag. I only hope there was something fragile was in it. ...

Yesterday, Margalit and her kids helped wrap hundreds of presents for today's Christmas in the City for needy kids:

... We had 220 kids on our list. Think about that for a second. Two hundred and twenty children in just one shelter out of many. This event feeds, entertains, and hands out presents to over 2500 children in the Boston area. If they could find more volunteers, more donations, and more businesses willing to pitch in, they would double the size of the event and still not take care of every poor child in shelters in Boston. ...

Jennifer Garrett tries to do some holiday shopping at Target:

... "Do you sell ashtrays?" I kindly inquired after searching high and low. "What do you use those for?" I am not kidding, people. ...

Jesse dishes on the strategies she's sometimes forced to use to get little kids to smile for Christmas photos:

Tonight at work one of the other photographers was teasing me because she overheard me proclaiming ecstaticly to a three-year-old during a sitting, "You LOVE benches!" ...

TC photographs the manger scene the McGrath Highway Stop & Shop has set up - on the meat counter:

... If PETA is right, does that mean that Stop & Shop gets smited when the Second Coming occurs? Is it an offering - should I be placing beef jerky in front of creches that I pass?

Karrie reports what happened when she walked into Stellabella Toys in Inman Square this morning:

As we walked into the store, a rather stern looking, middle-aged woman was raving "It's MERRY CHRISTMAS! DO YOU HEAR ME? MERRY CHRISTMAS!" She caught my eye and barked: "None of this Happy Holidays bullshit!"

Hark the batshit crazy angels sing, lady. I heard you. ...

If you've just gotten a cheese board at your company Yankee Swap at the Charles Hotel, do not try to ditch it by offering it to some random old lady in the hotel lobby:

... "IS THIS A BOMB?" we hear her bellowing behind us.

"No, it's a cheese board" Amy calls back. ...

Borderline tells you where to go for bright Christmas displays.

The Beethoven School chorus and Tom Menino lit the West Roxbury Christmas Tree at Grove and Washington streets today. They sang, Santa came, kids got to sit on his knee and everybody got some pizza and hot chocolate.

First, it was time to light the tree, which is kind of an odd thing to do at noon, because you can't really tell the difference, but nobody seemed to mind:

While in the Boston area, Santa's transportation is provided by the Boston Fire Department:

Some people should reconsider getting anywhere near the cookie dough.

Jody requests:

I am going out Christmas shopping tomorrow, so I am going to need all of you to stay home so that I am not inconvenienced by traffic or lines at the registers. ...

The annual Santas in Speedos race is Saturday, Dec. 16, starting at 1 p.m. and circling through Back Bay.

The Watertown Ministerial Association will host a Blue Christmas interfaith service on Dec. 12 for:

those who are sad, lonely, or living with loss, and their friends.

Charlie Brown and his tree have nothing on Jen Stewart and her tree.

Palm trees are growing at the North Pole!

Oh, OK, on Poplar Street in Roslindale.

Why not cancel The Nutcracker while you're at it?

Christmas music, as repeated endlessly until the end of time by stations such as Oldies 103 and, of course, retailers all over, is driving Jesse Noyes insane. Won't you help? Or at least tell him whether he's the only person who feels that way?