OK, so maybe "Damon sucks" baby bibs are a bit, oh, extreme. But do they warrant legal threats from Johnny Damon's agent?

Via Beetle, who suggests another saying for bibs.

The Optimistic Patriot tells Red Sox Nation to wipe the spittle off its chin:

... Sox Nation forfeited the right to boo Damon when the Red Sox traded away Bronson Arroyo. Arroyo played the sucker, signed for a hometown discount because he wanted to stay in Boston, and the Sox immediately traded him. I guess loyalty is a one-way street because I missed the booing for Henry, Warner, Epstein, etc. for taking advantage of Arroyo. ...

One suspects Mr. Patriot does not travel in the same circles as Amy over at Pasquinade, who reports on watching the game at Game On next to Fenway:

... I attracted stares from a chinless wonder as I yelled at the television for Johnny Damon to shut up, shut up, SHUT. UP. I hate your helmet doff, I hate your douchy new hair, I don't miss your lackluster offense (HA HA). ...

Soxaholix, meanwhile, ponders Yankee killer David Ortiz and the returning Doug Mirabelli:

... Considah this. How lucky are we that yesterday in cities all across America the men in blue were tasked with crowd control at immigrant protests while here in Boston the police were taking on the most solemn and earnest duty of escorting the Red Sox backup catcher to Fenway? ...

On Soxaholix, Hart's bunch has become the latest group to wish Johnny Damon would just shut up already - especially on the whole "fun" thing:

... Absolutely, one of the things that put the 04 club over the top was the acquisition of a guy who not only doesn't have fun, he actually doesn't even like playing baseball — Keith Foulke. ...

Basegirl gazes upon that full-page Johnny Damon thank-you ad in the Globe today and addresses No. 18:

... Actually, I don't really want to miss you. I just want you to go away.

Let it go, JD. We already have.

Call of the Green Monster reveals the original text of the ad:

... "As you might have imagine, Johnny doesn't exactly write all that well," Damon's agent, Scott Boras, told COTGM, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "I had to rewrite the entire thing." Damon's original message paid tribute to all the "hot-looking babes" in Boston, going into excruciatingly private details about his bachelor days and subsequent marriage to his wife, Michelle. ...

Hart Brachen ponders the imponderable - and wonders why Sox fans have never caught on to the whole ululating thing.

Expressing one's feelings through statuary - Now does anybody know where this masterpiece is?

Is a girl wearing a blue t-shirt reading:

WELCOME TO NEW YORK, JOHNNY!

Blecch. Fortunately, other than that, the trip back to Providence was uneventful.

Johnny Damon, how can one describe the crulety which you have subjected upon Red Sox Nation. What you have done to YOUR fans is just unfathomable.