Johnny Damon

Ready to forgive Johnny Damon?

adamg — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 19:51:53 +0000

Sports Illustrated claims the Sox have claimed him on waivers from Detroit.

Proof that Damon really does suck?

adamg — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 22:50:22 +0000

OK, so maybe "Damon sucks" baby bibs are a bit, oh, extreme. But do they warrant legal threats from Johnny Damon's agent?

Via Beetle, who suggests another saying for bibs.

You had no right to boo, he says

adamg — Tue, 02 May 2006 16:18:29 +0000

The Optimistic Patriot tells Red Sox Nation to wipe the spittle off its chin:

... Sox Nation forfeited the right to boo Damon when the Red Sox traded away Bronson Arroyo. Arroyo played the sucker, signed for a hometown discount because he wanted to stay in Boston, and the Sox immediately traded him. I guess loyalty is a one-way street because I missed the booing for Henry, Warner, Epstein, etc. for taking advantage of Arroyo. ...

One suspects Mr. Patriot does not travel in the same circles as Amy over at Pasquinade, who reports on watching the game at Game On next to Fenway:

... I attracted stares from a chinless wonder as I yelled at the television for Johnny Damon to shut up, shut up, SHUT. UP. I hate your helmet doff, I hate your douchy new hair, I don't miss your lackluster offense (HA HA). ...

Soxaholix, meanwhile, ponders Yankee killer David Ortiz and the returning Doug Mirabelli:

... Considah this. How lucky are we that yesterday in cities all across America the men in blue were tasked with crowd control at immigrant protests while here in Boston the police were taking on the most solemn and earnest duty of escorting the Red Sox backup catcher to Fenway? ...

Johnny Damon: Classy guy or what?

adamg — Tue, 02 May 2006 12:09:07 +0000

Boo Damon or cheer him?

adamg — Mon, 01 May 2006 00:39:02 +0000

Doth he protest too much?

adamg — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 14:11:02 +0000

On Soxaholix, Hart's bunch has become the latest group to wish Johnny Damon would just shut up already - especially on the whole "fun" thing:

... Absolutely, one of the things that put the 04 club over the top was the acquisition of a guy who not only doesn't have fun, he actually doesn't even like playing baseball â€” Keith Foulke. ...

Sox fan to Johnny: Enough

adamg — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 01:06:05 +0000

Basegirl gazes upon that full-page Johnny Damon thank-you ad in the Globe today and addresses No. 18:

... Actually, I don't really want to miss you. I just want you to go away.

Let it go, JD. We already have.

Call of the Green Monster reveals the original text of the ad:

... "As you might have imagine, Johnny doesn't exactly write all that well," Damon's agent, Scott Boras, told COTGM, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "I had to rewrite the entire thing." Damon's original message paid tribute to all the "hot-looking babes" in Boston, going into excruciatingly private details about his bachelor days and subsequent marriage to his wife, Michelle. ...

What if Johnny Damon had looked like Mohammed instead of Jesus?

adamg — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 14:15:43 +0000

Hart Brachen ponders the imponderable - and wonders why Sox fans have never caught on to the whole ululating thing.

Johnny Who?

adamg — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 03:42:12 +0000

Expressing one's feelings through statuary - Now does anybody know where this masterpiece is?

About the last thing you'd expect to see at Midway Airport

adamg — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:59:00 +0000

Is a girl wearing a blue t-shirt reading:

WELCOME TO NEW YORK, JOHNNY!

Blecch. Fortunately, other than that, the trip back to Providence was uneventful.

Johnny Demon, Er, Damon

perkins35 — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 00:52:39 +0000

Johnny Damon, how can one describe the crulety which you have subjected upon Red Sox Nation. What you have done to YOUR fans is just unfathomable.

Damon wasn't really all that

adamg — Fri, 23 Dec 2005 13:12:55 +0000

Andrew once again proves why baseball is a game of statistics with his analysis of why Damon wasn't as good as we think (caution: you will need to digest his explanation of something called SecA first):

... Johnny Damon was a below-average Major League hitter in 2005. Below Average. He fared somewhat better among center fielders and leadoff men, but not by enough to make his loss a real crime. For $13 million dollars a year, along with the promise of lost speed and plunging production, I want way more for my money than a singles hitter who failed, catastrophically, to do much else.
...

Meanwhile, Meg comes up with another statistic:

... If it's not the Curse of the Epsteino that's bringing this down upon the Nation, perhaps it's a Curse of the Queer Eyes. Of the five Sox who appeared on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," (Kevin Millar, Jason Varitek, Johnny Damon, Tim Wakefield, and Doug Mirabelli), only Wakefield and Varitek now remain.

My thoughts on Johnny Damon's departure

bostran1 — Thu, 22 Dec 2005 13:50:31 +0000

http://www.benostrander.com

What would CHB say?

adamg — Thu, 22 Dec 2005 03:46:44 +0000

OK, I swear this is the last Johnny Damon post (well, of the night, anyway). The Chief once again uses his photographic memory (or his Lexis/Nexis account, your choice) to play Dan Shaughnessy against himself - apparently, Shaughnessy doesn't think anybody will remember anything he wrote three weeks ago, let alone in April.

Nobody at the Globe paid me to link to Dan Shaughnessy Watch, believe me

Well, so now we know WJDWD

adamg — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 20:29:58 +0000

Via Dave, who looks on the bright side of Johnny Damon's defection to the Deathstar:

Maybe this year the Sox can have a CF who can throw all the way to the infield.

For a limited time, you can buy Johnny's soul on eBay.

The hits just keep on coming: