lobster

Joey's butter gets melted by a couple of women in California who posted a lobster-roll recipe that includes (you are sitting down, right?) lettuce, paprika and, almost worst, jalepeno peppers.

But what really turns Joey's face red is their suggestion that frozen lobster tails are an acceptable substitute for the real stuff:

What is wrong with people??? ... Really now???? You’re gonna go and say that frozen lobster tails are in any way shape or form equally as delicious as fresh shucked meat? Oh No You Diin't

Good Morning Gloucester hosts a guy trying to go around the world for free for a CBS show. Watch him determine what happens to the albino and walk the Gloucester greasy pole (starts around 2:30 on the video).

Meredith Green points us to this New York Times article about attempts by Linda L. Bean (yes, as in LL Bean) to corner the Maine lobster market, scare us off from inferior "imposter" Canadian lobster and rebrand lobster parts she thinks are too scary - such as calling claws "cuddlers." Only you won't be able to call them that, because she wants to trademark that name, so you'll need to refer to them as Cuddler-brand lobster claws, or face the wrath of her copyright police. No word on her new name for tomalley.

Maybe it's just as well we let Maine go in 1821. Joey C. wonders what sort of idiots they breed Down East who put celery, tarragon or lettuce in their lobster rolls. He shows how to do a lobster roll right (complete with photos).