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Today's hot new job: Twitter optimization expert

Allegedly, some local social-media concern is willing to pay $250,000 a year to somebody who can drum up thousands of followers a week for their clients, who include "Fortune 500's and celebrities." It's on Craigslist, so it must be true.

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Comments

Let's dissect this, shall we?
1) "Our clients are Fortune 500's and celebrities" ... Translation: I want to impress you so I'll throw out a term like "Fortune 500" and say we work for "celebrities" because I don't know how real businsses make money.
2) "our clients' videos are regularly the most viewed on Youtube" ... Translation: So you start a Social Media company and post a video and it becomes #1 on YouTube, right? I think that's how that works.
3) "If you don't use automated tools and do things organically, please describe your methodology in detail" ... Translation: Looking for someone with mad skillz! Manually get 50,000 followers a week all via keyboard. Man, how do you have time to play Halo3?
4) "If you do use automated tools, please describe in detail which tools and under what circumstances, but no, we are not trying to gather free information." ... Translation: Oh man, did they buy it? Like the time that cop axed me if I was holdin' and I said "I ain't holdin' any 10oz. bag of weed in my shorts man!"

Dear social media frauds: Stop it, you're not fooling anyone. If this is a "leading social media" company who wrote this, you need to fire the ass clown who wrote that copy. I can write better copy with 8 martinis in me.

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