A new Red Sox stat

Faced with a sub-.500 team, Beth resorts to other means to enjoy games, such as Entertainment Value Above Replacement:

As an example of this metric in action, Dustin Pedroia's epic at-bat on Monday night gave him a high EVAR, regardless of whether it led to a win.

Tonight's team EVAR leader never picked up a bat or glove -- but he did chuck some gum onto the field on his way out. Of course, I'm talking about Terry Francona, who went Full Metal Jacket on umpires Angel Hernandez and Joe West after Hernandez called a run-scoring balk on Tim Wakefield in the second inning.