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New Yorkers are friendlier, but our bathrooms are better


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The biggest difference between Boston and NYC is that NYC doesn't have a bigger city a four hour drive away.

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NYers are friendlier but the biggest difference en mass is that NYers, unlike Bostonians in the last +/- 8 years, haven't yet abandoned the unwritten social contract, that basically makes society livable. Example, in NYC, if someone is seated on the bus up front when an elderly or person with disability boards, and that rider doesn't reliquish the seat; another passenger will ask and then tell them to move, if need be, but also others will back up that person. "we're all in this together" springs to mind. I definitely get the feeling that I'm on my own even when instructing people to move to the rear of the bus so that others, including me, can board. It's like too many people feel their fare entitles them to a 3ftx2ft space of *their* choosing (excluding the usual super-sized napsack strapped to their backs) where sharing the world with others is a foreign concept. Speaking up in Boston, more often that not, you are seen as the problem, rather than the actual problem you are speaking up about.

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Totally agree. Rare to see the elderly offered a seat. I ride the Orange Line every day and have so since 1988. I'm no Spring chicken and have a spinal deformity but have had to get up and offer my seat while rude teenagers just keep sitting and staring with attitudes. If you ask them if you can sit, they look at you rudely. And before any of you want to troll back against my comment, I did use the word "rare." I hope the new generation of parents teach their kids manners like this. It will help toward their future success in life .

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What I've seen most often is the "rude suit", who pretends to be doing something "too important" to mean giving up his or her seat or even noticing anybody else.

That could be a Red Line thing, though.

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Yes, suits, too. But I'll see a suit offer a seat to elderly frail person before teenagers. This one did.

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Or a pregnant woman, but I don't offer my seat to a woman simply because she's a woman.

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No one was saying that people should give seats to women?

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I go to Manhattan a few times a year for work or to visit friends; I don't see a stark contrast in rush hour commuting decorum really. I think that, given the mess we endured last winter, people stayed remarkably civil. People queue up and (usually) follow the unwritten rules about keeping to the right on the escalator, etc.. whereas in so many other cities it just seems like a free for all.

I think in both cities your experience will vary quite a bit depending on where and when you're using public transportation. During rush hour on the red and orange lines people seem to be very quiet and have their eyes on their phones, and then in the evening there's more students and people going out for the night so it's more boisterous.

I've seen way more public urination and vomiting go down on NYC trains, but I think because of the volume of tourists visiting the city everyday it could also be question of people who are coming in to party who think the city is their playground instead of a place where people really live and work. The same holds true for Boston; anyone who has had to go into the office on St. Patrick's Day can attest to how the hordes from the exurbs handle themselves.

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Boston has a much larger percentage of students from out of state who have never lived in a large metro area with public transportation. Unlike people who grew up around here, plenty of these transplants are not familiar with public transportation which can explain why you see so many of these people.

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Trust me. These school teens kids are not from out of state.

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I try to pay attention to this sort of thing and see it happen all the time. I rarely see people fail to offer an elderly, pregnant, or disabled person a seat if they board a bus or train. Maybe it happens every now and then and that's what is noticed and sticks in your mind, but I think it's far more likely the exception than the rule.

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Native of both cities are actually very similar. But, both cities also deal with a large influx of non-natives, which can warp perceptions.In Boston's case, in Back Bay, Beacon Hill, North End, Downtown, certainly Cambridge, Somerville, Brookline (I include them because I consider them to all one place m, albeit seperate municipalities) and on the MBTA, you'll encounter MANY people from elsewhere, and chances are excellent that 'mean', snotty or inconsiderate person isn't from here. Same in NYC. Socioeconomics also play a role; imo 'lower class' people are generally friendly and more likely to do things like let an elderly person sit on a crowded train, etc. So, if you're in a place with a large population of transients (such as students, tourists, suburban commuters, business professionals, etc.), I believe you will encounter less friendliness and even helpfulness. When you put a bunch of people togetherfrom a wide range of backgrounds, cultures (and I'm referring to domestic cultures within a big country like the U.S., not just foreign), socioeconomics, etc. people generally clam up and become reserved. When you have a more homogeneous cultural environment, people find it easier to relate, and things become more relaxed. Boston and NY certainly don't fit that description.

You want to not irritate people in either cities, don't walk, drive too slow, block streets, sidewalks, dick around getting on/off trains, etc. Be aware of your surroundings and act accordingly.

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but I think three's a seasonal difference to this type of behavior. Winter tends to exacerbate some of the anti-social attitudes described here. I've always felt a different vibe in the summer. Is it because many students decamp? Is it because they're replaced by tourists, mostly from abroad? I have absolutely no idea

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LOL. No. More empty seats in the summer because it's actually since people would rather stand on the train than sit with short sleeves on and touch armskin to armskin with someone who is sweaty and sticky. Or, sit on the "mistery upholstery" with shorts on. Ha...we could do a whole stand up comedy routine about human behavior on the trains! Chris Rock would do it best.

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People are people. I have lived all over, and there is no difference between the people in NYC and the people in the smallest town in the middle of nowhere.

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Wrong. Drive in Boston for a couple of years and then drive places like Quebec (even a similar-sized city like Montreal) or California. You'll realize just how impatient people in Boston are and how the attitude of "get the hell out of my way" just isn't present in other places.

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Driving in other parts of the country you'll see that if you put on a blinker to change lanes people don't speed up to make sure you can't!

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Although to be fair, so is Boston. The general state of bathrooms or friendliness of service will vary markedly across Queens, let alone entire boroughs. I go to NYC around 8 times a year or so for work (mostly Midtown, but sometimes the Outer Boroughs as well) and maybe it's because I'm a West Coast transplant, I don't see a huge difference. Proportionally, there are as many clueless tourists who stop in the middle of the sidewalk in both places. I've found people in both cities generally much nicer than the media stereotype.

I am grateful we don't have a culture of busking on the T, though. That stuff is ANNOYING. Talk about a captive audience for generally mediocre performances at best.

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