Tell Laura I like her

Message to Laura from Germany in Coolidge Corner

Seems Mike did a lot of things involving numbers the other night - except getting Laura's digits, that is. Cory spotted the flier in Coolidge Corner yesterday.

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What a beta.

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What a beta.

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Drink Up

Maybe he went a little too high on the Y variable.

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(617) XYZ-ABCD

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X = The number people who live in your apartment (including you)
Y = The number of drinks Mike got you
Z = The number of drinks Mike got himself

A = How creepy it is, on a scale from 1 to 9, that Mike keeps referring to himself in the third person
B = The number of times you texted your friend while you talked with Mike
C = The number of times you said "Oh no!" when your friend eventually called
D = The number of cats in your apartment that your friend told you that were on fire, which you had to go extinguish immediately

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X is also the number of

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X is also the number of bodies this creep has buried in his basement.

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Z

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Z = the number of fedora tips

I can't say women are generally impressed by indecisiveness, never mind THIS level of indecisiveness. And then putting her name and nationality up on wanted posters in a last ditch effort to overcome his gaffe... *cringe*

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Meh

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Sheldon did it better last night.

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Come on, Mike...

This woman is supposedly from the same country that invented the Enigma. You need to come up with a better code than one that can be cracked by estimating that she probably shares an apartment with three other students (thus, x=4) and that had he bought her any more than 2, maybe 3, drinks, he would have had time to ask for her number (so y≤3).

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Upon further consideration

I'm now 99% certain that y MUST be equal to 0. There can be no other explanation based on this dude's scrub-ass behavior.

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